


The Only Exception

by StarsandCandles



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Carmilla AU, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hollstein - Freeform, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 10:53:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4957603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsandCandles/pseuds/StarsandCandles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla hates Silas. Carmilla hates crowds. The only thing she has ever Loved is Mattie, William and Ell. Ell had left and ever since then she has pushed herself away from all things including affection. Will the tiny brunette she meets at the bar be the change to all that? Or will she run because that ray of sunshine is way to bright and shes too far in the dark..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Music au.
> 
> I do POV Changes and scene jumps. So -- Will be the Scene jumps and Page breaks Are the POV changes.

**Friday -**

 

You had just wrapped up finishing your (very) over due LIT paper before you notice your phone screen light up. _Awesome, just what you need.. a distraction._

You glance down at the screen to see a text notification from Danny.

 **Danny(7:43pm):** _hey laura.. So perry , laf and I were thinking about hitting the town to recover from the stress of studying and I was wondering if you’d wanna tag along??_

You dont even have to think twice before responding.

 **Laura(7:45pm):** _YES. Totally! I mean - ya sure I’ve been needing some time away argg_

 **Danny(7:45pm):** _Awesome! Great and yeah, we were due for a break :p_

Yes, yes they were, and what better to take your mind off things then your -super tall, super gorgeous TA-? You still aren't quite sure what you and Danny were , but according to Laf you both might as well be a couple. You on the other hand, aren't even sure if the red head feels the same way, or what you even felt in the first place. Everything was so complicated and confusing this first year of college..

 **Laura(7:53pm):** _Defiantly. So what time should we all meet up??_

 **Danny(7:54pm):** _Were meeting by the library at about 8:30. Sound good?_

 **Laura(7:55pm):** _Yup! See you then_.

Oh god, that leaves you exactly _25 minutes_ to find something presentable to wear! You jump up from your computer chair and rush around trying to find the most suitable outfit. Normally when the gang went out you all go to the Lustig bar around the corner. It tends to have a decent rate of professional performers so you don't want to look too 'Provincial'. You settle on a blue blouse that ties up in a bow just bellow your belly button and a pair of skinny jeans. Hopefully everyone will be too hammered to even notice your attire anyways.

 

\--

 

When you arrive at the lustig, Lafontaine and Perry run off to find the most vacant booth. While You and Danny make your way to the bar to grab drinks.

“You look nice tonight Hollis” Danny says as you both reach the counter.

“Thanks” You respond, feeling your cheeks starting to light up at the compliment. “You do too”.

“I’ll take two jack on the rocks, a Shirley temple and uh” Danny turns her head back to look at you “What are you having?”

You suddenly snap out of the trance you seemed to be in “Oh uh, Just a porn star” Danny raises her eyebrow at you. “What? I like my drinks sweet” You shoot back with a smirk.

“Ha, uh and a Porn star apparently.” You can't help but giggle. “Coming right up” Theo smiles.

As you both make your way over to the booth Lafontaine and Perry have grabbed, you notice Kirsch walking up to the bar.

“Kirsch, hey! I didn’t know you came here, thought you’d be with your zeta bro’s being its Friday and all.”

“Hey little nerd hottie! Yeah, Sarah-Jane and I sorta just broke up and I didn’t want to sit around listening to the guys asking questions about it. Thought it would be better to just treat myself. Hey, Mind if I join you guys?”

“Yes” Danny expresses with a very annoyed response. “No, not at all!” You reply while giving Danny a genuine look “Our booths just over here”.

The three of you walk over and sit down, Danny making sure to sit on the completely opposite side of the table as Kirsch.

“Just because Laura is too nice to shut you down, does not mean that you are welcome” Danny vocalizes with a sigh. “Hey, just because you summer psycho’s have a problem with us zeta’s does not give you the right to be such a bitc-” Before he can finish though, you cut him off.

“Okaaaaay, let’s try not to rip each others heads off and just have a good time? Please.” you articulate with your -very tiny tone- which you have learned makes everyone do what you've asked.

“Fine. Just keep your level 1 intelligence away from me” Danny’s reply directing to Kirsch.

You all sit around talking about your upcoming assignments that are due. Wasn’t the point in coming here to not stress about school? _Whatever, At least you were out of that dorm and away from those books._

“Hey guys, so I’m working on this new experiment.. Where I get to figure out how brain fluid works” Lafontaine voices with great pride. Perry rolls her eyes

“Yeah well keep it in the bio lab, I don’t need another “experiment” to clean up after this mornings explosion” Lafontaine smirks at that “ Perr how was I supposed to know that building a water bottle rocket out of a plastic bottle, demonstrating how air pressure works would make such a mess?”

Perry stiffens her posture “ You don’t think the words “Air pressure” were blatant enough?”

Everyone laughs. Perry and Lafontaine have been best friends since they were 5. They have an unbreakable bond but were completely different from one another. It really is true when they say opposites attract. You can only wish to find someone like that. You envy what they have so much.

Just then a loud voice comes over the mic to announce that there was a very special guest about to perform. The Lustig is local and a lot of local artists played here so you were a little interested as to who this person might be. When you glance over at the stage, you spot her. _Is that really her?_   Are you just seeing things? It can’t be. You're just drunk. But wait, no - because you haven't even touched your drink yet.

“Is that who I think it is ?” Lafontaine announces with a higher pitch in their tone.

“Oh my god it is” Danny says while standing up to get a better view.

So You aren't just imagining things. Nope. That was very much Carmilla Karnstein. The deans daughter who refused to attend Silas because she’s “Too good for that kind of school". You personally think it’s just because she’s a brat who has always gotten everything she wanted because Mommy dearest also owns a very wealthy line of fashion that just so happened to become a world wide trend. Karnstein. As if that name couldn’t be any more original. You roll your eyes at that thought.

_But wait-- Was she looking at you?_

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Friday-**

 

You don't normally perform in front of crowds, but the way Will begs you on the phone there was no way you could say no.

“Please kitty, I really need this. My boss is on the verge of laying me off if I don’t find another gig.” You let out a long sigh.

“What happened to the preppy boy band you had booked?” You lift your beer up to your lips to take a sip.

“They bailed last minute, apparently one of their grandparents died”

 _Well lucky them._ “Fine. But I’m only on for 30 minutes and that’s it.” You respond sternly while swallowing another sip.

Will sounds like he's jumping up and down at your answer. You roll your eyes slightly. “Yes! Thank you thank you, you won’t regret it.” He let's out with complete relief.

“Pretty sure I already do” You groan. Will chuckles “ Hey don’t be so broody, maybe you’ll find a hot chick to take home after”

 _Ha!_ At the bar that is stationed right next to the building you hate the most? “Doubt it” You reply while ended the call in the middle of Will’s laughing.

You glance up at the clock. 7:30pm. That means you only have an hour an a half till you need to be up on stage. _He’s so gonna owe you for this._ You set your beer down on the counter, let out a sigh, grab your guitar and make your way over to your leather couch to start laying out in your head what songs you are going to perform.

You have always loved music. Ever since you were 9 and picked up your first guitar. It was your escape from the reality that you called your life. Your mother never accepted your passion and always tried to direct you in the direction she wanted for you, To be her little run way model. Up until you were 12 she made you wear all her designs and go to all of the run way shows. Then you turned 13 and told her to simply fuck off because you would no longer be anyone's dress up doll. That’s when the on going arguments had started..

Your mothers line of clothing was so typical, it’s basically urban outfitters with a different name. Your last name. How original? You hated being a Karnstein for that specific reason.Now being 21 and living on your own, you were glad you didn’t have to deal with your mothers rash opinions anymore and were finally proceeding in your passion. Music.

After panning out what songs you were going to play it was now 8:25 and you have to be on in 30 minutes. So you grab your guitar, pack up your things and exit your apartment. On the walk down to your car, you get to thinking about what Ell always told you. _You’re so talented Carm, you’re gonna go so far I just know it!_ You're pretty sure that Ell is the only reason you even kept perusing your music. Up until your mother had Ell deported to teach you a lesson. You guess you kind of betrayed Ell by even telling your mother that she was an illegal citizen in the first place, and there’s not a day that goes by that you don't hate yourself for it. You lost all contact when she was deported right after you both got into a heated argument when Ell had found out you told your mother about her secret. The last words you ever heard from her were “I’ll never forgive you Carmilla, I hate you for this.”

Ever since then you have pushed yourself away from all relationships , One night stands did the trick with no way for you to fuck things up because no feelings were involved.

 

\--

 

You pull up to the Lustig at around 8:45pm. Just enough time to get in and get set up.

“You made it oh thank god!” Will shouts as you glide through the back door to the stage. “I told you I’d be here didn’t I?” you shrug and sling your guitar from off your back.

“Yes but normally you show up an hour late, I’m surprised” Will responds with a more serious tone. “Yeah well, I had nothing better to do so..” You reply as you push past your brother to set up your equipment.

“Yeah yeah kitty, just admit it you love me” Will sing-songs while prancing towards you. You let out a loud groan “ Oh shut up before I dip out of here so fast there will be scorch marks on my leather jeans!”

At exactly 8:55 Will announces there will be a special guest performing. _Yay, as if you needed more of an introduction._ You tread onto the stage to sit on the stool Will has ever so kindly placed out for you. As you look out over the crowd you over hear all the whispering about how “It couldn’t be” “Is it really her?” “Carmilla Karnstein??”. This is why you hate crowds. _Yup, Will now owes you his soul._ As you lift your guitar up onto your lap and place the microphone accordingly to your now new level height, You glanced out over the crowd once more and noticed a very tall red head that kinda reminds you of Xena. But to her right, You catch glimpse of a very tiny very surprised looking light brunette that for some reason sticks out in the group of sweaty drunk collage kids. Something about her makes your heart jump slightly. _Woah, what the fuck?_ \--

Nope, You cant afford to think about this right now, It was time to preform. You run your right hand through your hair lightly.

_It's Now or never._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this is my first Fic! All comments are appreciated and I do plan to make this a lengthy story. With not too much angst but we will see ;) I have no Idea on update times yet.. I'm still trying to decided where I want this story to go so bare with me lovely's.


	2. I'm not an angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First encounters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I used some songs here - Im not an angel by Halestorm, Nothing by Natasha Negovanlis (Because of course) and Human by Christina perri.

 

**Friday**

**8:55pm**

No. There’s no way she was looking at you. You were certain. But you cant really argue that theory when you both seem to have locked eyes. Why? Why was Carmilla looking at you of all people and so.. Intensely. You can’t really deny the girl is down right jaw dropping gorgeous in her leather pants and grey and black flowy top. That being all the more reason to question as to why she would even glance your way. You're just some small town provincial girl who’s way to tightly wound, that studies journalism and barely knows your way around your own campu-

“Hey Laura? Did you even hear what I said?” Laf interrupts with an eyebrow raised causing you to jump out of your long train of thought. “Huh? What? No sorry it’s a little loud in here” you respond with a slightly nervous twitch in your voice.

“Yeah … Sureeee. Anyways I said, Why do you think Carmilla would be performing here of all places? Doesn’t she like hate Silas?”

“That’s what everyone say’s. Apparently she’s to good for Silas and would rather start her solo career as a musician instead of study and get an education” Danny shot out before you can even form words. “Her mom’s the dean correct?” Perry adds.

“Yeah and she’s got a brother too, Will. The guy who made the announcement. He’s actually a Zeta.” Kirsch responds. “Wait , wait.. So her brother attends Silas but she doesn’t? That’s fucking weird, Who does she think she is? Some god or something?” Danny raises her voice and rolls her eyes.

You continue to just sit there not being able to get a word in while the group goes on about why or why not Carmilla hates Silas. Frankly your a tad bit busy staring at the smirk Carmilla just gave you. _Wait-- was that a smirk?_ Nope. No way. The crowd starts to get silent as Carmilla starts to strum her guitar. You can't find it in you to look away, It was like you were a magnet trying to find its base.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Friday**

**9:00pm**

 

 _It's Now or never._ You begin to strum out the cords of the first song you have decided to start off with.

 _You made a mistake_  
_On the day that you met me and lost your way_  
_You saw all the signs But you let it go_  
_You closed your eyes I should've told you to leave_  
_Cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me_  
_But you're hard to resist, When you're on your knees begging me_

You take in a breath as you slowly move into the Chorus

 _I tear you down I make you bleed eternally_  
_Can't help myself From hurting you and it's hurting me_  
_I don't have wings so flying with me won't be easy_  
_Cause I'm not an angel, I'm not an angel_

You look up across the crowd and happen to meet eyes with that tiny brunette again.

 _I hate being that wall_  
_That you hit when you feel like you gave it all_  
_I keep taking the blame_  
_When we both know that I'll never change_  
_I wasn't always this way, I used to be the one with the halo_  
_But that disappeared when I had my first taste and fell from grace_  
_It left me in this place Now I'm starting to think maybe you like it_  
_I'm not an angel._

You finish the song as it's quickly followed by loud claps and cheers. _Could these drunk idiots get any louder?_ You had decided a long time ago to always start off with a darker song before moving into your more emotional ones. This next one you happened to write after the fight with Ell. You'd be lying if you said it wasn’t one of your favorites, and had the smallest hope Ell would hear it and understand just how hurt you were. You start into the melody slowly. Your eyes shut the entire time.

 _Oh I got nothing, oh I got nothing left to give you_  
_Oh I got nothing left to give you_  
_I got the devil on my breath, and an angel on my back_  
_Telling me no, but the words fall away For you_  
_And that stupid smile, Biting your lip while I swing my hips For you_

You take in a shaky breath.

 _But I got nothing, I got nothing else to give you_  
_Oh I got nothing, I got nothing left to give you_

 _The sun is starting to rise, and we're on the kitchen floor_  
_Empties everywhere I lose my mind for you, and that stupid smile_  
_So unforgiving I make bad decisions For you_  
_'Cause I gave it all away, and now there's nothing Oh there's nothing_  
_Yeah, I threw it all away And now there's nothing Oh there's nothing_

_Oh I got nothing, oh I got nothing, oh I got nothing For you  
Oh I got nothing, I got nothing, Oh I got nothing for you._

 As you roll out into finishing the chorus you open your eyes and look up across the crowd to once again lock eyes with the tiny brunette. _You should really figure out her name._ The last song you have prepared was a little more hopeful in your eyes.

 _I can hold my breath I can bite my tongue_  
_I can stay awake for days If that's what you want_  
_Be your number one_  
_I can fake a smile I can force a laugh_  
_I can dance and play the part If that's what you ask_  
_Give you all I am, I can do it_

You pause before going back into the chorus

 _But I'm only human And I bleed when I fall down_  
_I'm only human And I crash and I break down_  
_Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart_  
_'Cause I'm only human_  
_I can turn it on Be a good machine_  
_I can hold the weight of worlds If that's what you need_  
_Be your everything_  
_Cause I’m only human._

You look out into the crowd once more, only to your surprise, that tiny brunette is right in front of the stage just looking at you. It takes you a bit back with shock. Why was she staring at you this- intensely ? Why did she move so close to the stage just to get a better view? You tilt your head slightly while your mind races until Will cuts in to end your performance with a speech. You waste no time snapping out of the trance that you seemed to be in, stand up, swing your guitar across your shoulder and make your way back stage.

\--

Just as you are about to leave you hear Will running up behind you “Hey kitty! Where are you going? You did amazing I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks brat but I’m gonna take off. Hope your boss is satisfied with the gig you chose” As you reach out to grab the door handle you feel your wrist being grabbed and suddenly you're turned around facing him. “Carmilla please.. Stay. Have a drink, talk to some people. You got a lot of fans out there.. It’s worth the shot” You let out a small groan

“William you should know me well enough by now to already know the answer to that question” You reply while silently laughing at his effort.

“Okay I’ll give you drinks on the house all night. Please kitty, for me.” How can you say no to that? _Free booze? Ha. Sold._

“Fine loser I’ll stay for a little, now get me a beer” You say with a smirk. “Coming right up kitty!” Will utters while trotting off like he just won a prize. He was so needy. But deep down you and him both know you would do anything for him. Even though you weren’t blood related.. He was the closest thing you ever had to a Family, let alone friend. You loved him, and there was no denying that.

 

* * *

 

You are completely star struck. You hadn't even notice you walked up to the front of the stage once Carmilla led into her last song. It’s like you weren't in control of your own feet. You feel like the front of the stage- In front of the raven haired girl, is exactly where you were supposed to be. When the girl lifts her head from her guitar to lock eyes with you, your heart does a flip. _Woah, that was weird_. you both stay like that- looking at each other- for what feels like forever until Carmilla drops her gaze and makes her way backstage. After the Raven haired girl is no where in site, you seem to snap right out of that weird trance, to realize exactly where you are and what just happened. _This was all so very weird_. What was this feeling? You can't find any words to describe it. So you turn around and walk through the obnoxious crowd of people, back to the booth your friends had still been at.

“Yo where did you go frosh?” Lafontaine shouts looking half amused and half concerned as you make your way up to the table.

“Yeah Laura I was looking for you everywhere! What happened are you alright?!” Danny starts to say in a panic. “Guys, guys I’m fine. I was just by the front of the stage.” You can tell by the smug look on Lafontaine's face and the anger starting to rise in Danny's gaze that you probably shouldn't have said that.

“Why? It’s Karnstein. She’s a stuck up bitch” Danny states, raising her eyebrow at you. “Well I guess.. But she’s got some talent in her. I don’t know I guess I just wanted to hear better instead of being behind the screaming drunks”

“Yeah yeah .. Crushes on musicians” Lafontaine mocks with a laugh and a smirk. “I do not!” You raise your voice a little as you plop yourself down next to Perry who rubs her hand on your shoulder as if to say 'Don't let them get to you'. You give her a gentle smile.

“Oh don’t look now, the pretentious singer is sitting at the bar” Danny mocks with complete sarcasm. You glance over at the Raven haired girl who is now sitting by the bar and feel like you need to say something- Anything - after that moment you both shared. _Was it a moment?_ Whatever, you don't have time for your run along thoughts right now, you wanted to talk to the girl. As you stand up to make your way towards the bar you hear Lafontaine let out a silent "Mhmmm". You roll your eyes at that and a small smile appears on your face, but as soon as you are about a foot away looking at Carmilla, you get a sudden flutter of butterflies in your stomach. _Why?_ Why am you so nervous? In the middle of your internal freak-out, Carmilla turns around and caches a glimpse of you just standing there staring at her.

“Are you gonna stand there all day or you got something you wanna say cutie?” She says with a smirk as she sways around on the bar stool to face you. “Oh uhm.. Yeah uh,” You are at lost for words all of a sudden when you notice Carmilla getting up to stand in front of you. “I just wanted to say you did amazing. Your lyrics really drew me in. You’re very talented” You bite your cheeks to refrain you from blurting out something like 'You're also very attractive and we made eye contact for what felt like forever and your lips look super soft.' _Woah. Okay, Enough Alcohol for you._ “Well thanks cupcake. I could kinda tell when I looked up and you were right in front of me” She states as her lips form into a smirk like she can read your not so innocent thoughts. That makes your stomach flip.“Yeah you really brought the emotion out in me I guess.”

Carmilla raises her eyebrow at that. “Well cutie, I don’t write my music so others can relate but thank you for the complement” Now she's smiling at you. “And hey since you obviously know mine, What’s your name creampuff?”

“Well it’s definitely not creampuff.. Whats with all the nicknames?” You ask. “Well maybe if I knew your name I wouldn’t need to use them” Carmilla steps a bit closer to you and runs  her right hand through her hair. “Ha very smooth… It’s Laura, Laura Hollis.” You say with a giggle and watch as Carmilla runs her index finger across her bottom lip. “Well Miss Hollis , Would you care to join me for a drink? Or is your tall body guard that’s eyeing me down gonna pounce?” You turn around to see Danny standing up and giving Carmilla a death stare. _Sometimes she was just too protective.._ Reminded you too much of your dad.

“Yeah I’d love too, and oh don’t worry about her she’s just a little protective.” You bite at your cheeks again. “Whatever you say cupcake” Carmilla shoots back with a smirk across her face.

“So I have this feeling the nicknames aren't going to stop then?” You respond with a laugh as your teeth start to tug at your bottom lip. “Not a chance” She looks you dead in the eye and gives you a small wink as she makes her way back to her seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on 24 hours of no sleep. HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED. As always comments are highly appreciated. xo


	3. Pornstar kinda Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will knows he's all Carmilla has.. But maybe not for too much longer?  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS- Abuse and Self harm mention

You have always looked out for your sister. Even being two years younger than her, you still feel like it's your obligation to be the noble 'Big brother' in her life. Considering your mother and Carmilla never really got along, you know that you're all she has. You were adopted by the Karnsteins at age 6, before that you had been bounced between family to family. You can only remember being shy and very nervous on your first day at the Karnsteins, thinking it was going to play out like every other home before that. Carmilla was 8 and you were so glad to finally have a child in the home around your own age for once, also the fact that she had been adopted as well made you feel not so different in comparison. Carmilla was different back then, come to think of it.. If you were to pin point the day she changed and became so distant it would have to be her 13th birthday.

You always knew Carmilla loved music. Once she picked up her first guitar at 9, You would sit and listen to her play all the time. You loved seeing your sister look so happy, so free, So.. Connected. That was until your mother told Carmilla to stop being unrealistic and find a real career path. Like Modeling you supposed. Lilita never let Carmilla play, but that never stopped her. You would follow her down to the basement into the crawl space and just watch her create magic. You loved watching your sister play, she had such a talent.. It drew you in. Once Carmilla turned 13 and told Lilita that she would no longer model for her, that’s when things changed.

Carmilla would be gone all night or days on end, It was rare if you even got to see her let alone listen to her play, which you had taken such a liking too. You can still remember the first time you saw it, The bruises all across her collar bones and the gash in her fore head. You thought maybe she got into a fight or possibly got jumped, but when you asked her about it she always had the same excuse. “I’m a hardcore badass William what do you think I do at night? Watch the stars? Ha”. You always knew she was hiding the real truth from you, but you could never find it in your heart to call her on it. You knew she would tell you if it was serious. Well, You could only hope. It wasn’t until she was 14 that you started to notice the scars on her wrists. She hid those very well but there were times that you could spot them. To this day, you still haven't questioned her on them. You only hoped she would one day talk to you, Let you help her.

 

\--

 

You make your way over to where Carmilla is  sitting at the bar and- _Was that a girl next to her ?_ You shake  your head and laugh. She’s so predictable that its gross.

“Here kitty, one beer” You announce as you set the bottle down in front of your sister and begin to wipe down the counter top. “So that deal about drinks on the house all night- Yeah it goes for both of us” She demands as she gestures her gaze to Laura. “No. That’s not necessary I can pay-” Laura is cut off before she can finish. “Listen cutie, he owes me big for filling in for his little gig here. Take it while it lasts” Carmilla interrupts while giving you a smile and lifts her beer to her lips.

“You’re lucky you’re my favorite sister”. Your gaze is on Laura now. “What’ll it be love?”

“Uhm, I’m your only sister weirdo, may I remind you I'm older too, so shove it” Carmilla responds as she sets the bottle back on its coaster. You stick out your tongue and Carmilla mirrors your expression. You both were such children some times.

“I guess I’ll just have a screwdriver” Laura speaks up with a smile, eyeing yours and Carmilla's expressions. Carmilla turns to look at her. “Huh, I pegged you for more of a Pornstar kinda girl”. You notice one of Carmilla's eyebrows raise. “Ha, no.. too much sugar for me” Laura looks down like she's trying to hide a smile.

“Cupcake you look like you’re made of sugar” Carmilla glances up and down “but whatever ships your sail I guess” She add's a quick wink before spinning back around to face you.

 

* * *

 

The useless flirting and nicknames continue to go on for a while until you decide to actually spark up an interesting topic. Not that this conversation wasn’t interesting .. But it was starting to make your head hurt from all the questions bouncing around as to if Carmilla was actually flirting with you or if she was just always this way.

“So correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to me you put the songs you sang tonight in a certain.. Order.” Carmilla looks up from her beer with what you think is interest on her face. “Oh yeah, and what makes you think that cutie?”

“Well, the first song you sang had more of a dark feel to it. More about insecurity then anything.” You pause. “ The second one was more about being hurt and not being enough for someone…” You glance down at the glass in your hand. “And the last one seemed to be a more lighter message.” You can feel the pit in your stomach instantly forming as you might be wrong to assume this.

“Wow. I’m impressed Sundance. Nobody has ever been able to deceiver my order before.” Carmilla looks serious in a way you can't put words too. “It’s like showing my layers, through music. There’s a lot more to me then meets the eye” She adds, turning her gaze back down to her hands that are cupping her beer.

For some odd reason, You see this as a challenge. This girl seems to be such a story and being an inspiring journalist and all, It kind of makes you want to know more. “I’d love to see more of those layers” You don't think you actually said that out loud until you notice Carmilla’s head shoot up to look at you. There was something about that stare, She looked half confused and half surprised. Your breath gets caught in your throat.

“Trust me when I say this cupcake. You really don’t” She finally lets out with more desperation in her voice then you assume she wanted. You couldn’t understand this girl. One minute she was all flirtatious and the next completely shut off and distant. What made her this way? You suddenly gain an ounce of confidence you didn’t think you even had.

“If you really think that being all broody and distant is gonna change my answer, then you’re sadly mistaken.” You let out a breath you had no idea you were holding. “We'll see about that cutie” A smirk goes across her face as she turns her head slightly to the side like she's trying to prove something. _And there was the useless flirting again._ How does she do that? The silence was quickly interrupted with a very familiar voice.

“Hey Hollis, are you ever gonna come back and join us..? Were all about to leave in a few..” You watch as Danny glares at Carmilla while Carmilla makes no acknowledgment that the red head is even there. “Oh yeah! Uh..” You turn to look at Carmilla, then back at Danny. “ Ill be over in minute.” You promise.

As Danny shrugs and walks away, You turn your attention back to the Raven haired girl who looks a little lost in thought. “I don’t mean to cut this short.. But I really did enjoy your performance tonight.”

Carmilla glances up from her beer to look at you. “Don’t worry about it creampuff, Thanks for the interest.” She half smiles at you. _There’s that ounce of courage you didn’t know you were capable of again._ “Here, I mean.. If you ever wanna talk or go for a coffee or something” You say while you begin to write your name and number on the napkin next to you. You pass it to Carmilla.

“I was serious about breaking down those layers” You add as you hold it out to the girl. You can't help the giggle that comes out. “I think I’d like that very much..” Carmilla responds, staring at the napkin that is now in her hands. You and Carmilla lock eyes again like you did near the stage. After a good 30 seconds you manage to shake yourself out of- whatever that was.. “Okay cool, Awesome, Bye!” you respond rapidly while getting up and running back to your group of friends.

 _Did you just give a stranger your number? And was that stranger really Carmilla Karnstein?_ Yup. You just gave Carmilla Your number and hopelessly flirted with her for over an hour and You honestly have no regrets. Do you?

 

* * *

 

You stay at the bar till 5 minutes before closing. Now onto your 6th beer of the night after Laura and the ginger squad left (as you decided to call them)

 _No but seriously, How many red heads did Laura know?_  

You were definitely feeling the buzz taking over your thoughts now. Did Laura give you her number because she was interested or just because she felt bad for you? You still weren't quite sure but either way it had made your heart and stomach turn. Your thoughts are interrupted rather quickly. _Thank god._

“Kitty, You know you can’t drive home like this right?” Will Says while looking at you with complete concern as he grabs the empty beer bottle that's in front of you. “Uh yeah dummy, I’m just gonna walk. Need to clear my head anyways.” You assure him. “Please don’t do anything stupid like end up in a ditch somewhere. Or call me up to bail you out” He smiles and lets out a laugh while tossing the empty into the bin behind him on the floor. You scoff

“Oh trust me you’re the last person i'd call” You both knew that was a lie. Will and You make eye contact and let out a small laugh together. “Don’t worry I’m a big girl Ill make it home alright” .

“Okay but text me when you get in so I know you’re safe” He pauses. “ Oh and make sure to text that super cute brunette you were flirting with all night.” He winks at you like he knows something you don't. “I wasn’t flirting with her.. Was just being the same old me” You shoot back quickly. “Oh please I saw how red your face got when she slipped you her number” He raises an eyebrow to you and smiles while picking up the coaster and wipes the area around you.

“I think you need to get your eyes checked. Better yet, Get them removed” You get up and make your way to the door as Will continues to laugh to himself. You weren't flirting with the girl, you were just being your normal cocky self. Right?

As you walk out into the night the fresh air hits your face and It reminds you of all the road trips you and Ell had gone on. _Why did it have to still hurt this much?_ Why couldn’t you just stop hating yourself for it.

 _Because you're worthless._ That’s why. Just like Lilita had always told you. You were just glad she wasn’t around to see you like this. _Ohh_   the beatings that came along the first night you walked in the door drunk. You couldn't leave your bed for a week after that.

In some way you wish that you were never adopted by Lilita, but quickly repress that thought because then you would have never met Will and that alone was enough reason for you to look past all the abuse. **Will.** You can't even imagine your life without him.

When You reach your apartment all you can think of is how warm your bed would feel right now. But you can also tell something else was itching into your mind. As you envision the sharp pain across your wrist, you make your way up the stairs of your apartment and go straight to where your mind has directed you. One day you'll break this habit.

(But today was not that day)


	4. I can hold my own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more to Laura then meets the eye, And Carmilla's about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very corny, (Laura's a dork pass it on)  
> No but like seriously... It belongs in a cornfield.  
> Also this chapter is a lot longer then the others. :)
> 
> Oh and there's also karaoke so yay!

**Saturday**

**9:30am**

 

You wake up relatively early for a Saturday morning. Maybe it’s because you didn’t get much sleep due to you replaying everything that happened last night over and over in your head.

So you do what every 19 year old girl does when she wakes up- Check your phone. As You glance down at your screen you notice two text notifications.

 **Laf(9:24am):** _Hey L, So perr , danny and I were gonna go get breakfast at the Ihop next door to cure our hangovers :p wanna come?_

 **705-307-1968(9:12am):** _You really surprised me last night, you don’t look like the kinda girl who gives random strangers her number._

You read over the text from the unknown number and pick up that sassy approach right away.

 **Laura(9:32am):** _Yeah, well I guess there’s more to me then meets the eye ;P_

 **705-307-1968(9:33am):** _No need to lie Miss Hollis, you can just tell the truth on the fact that’s it’s just because you think I’m hot._

You blush. There’s no denying that Carmilla is hot, but that’s totally not why you gave your number to her. _Not at all._

 **Laura(9:35am):** _Oh well aren’t we full of them self this morning. ;)_

 **705-307-1968(9:35am):** _All apart of the package cutie._

You smile at that. Was this becoming a friendship? Did you want it to be a friendship? _Do friends think their friends are hot?_   You decide to leave the conversation at that and answer your other notification.

 **Laura(9:37am):** _Totally. Pancakes mmmmmm. Ill meet you guys by the front doors in 20?_

 **Laf(9:40am):** _Sure thing frosh !!_

You push the covers off you and lift yourself out of bed to get dressed. You make your way down to the front of the dorm and to your surprise the group is already there waiting for you. You all waste no time walking next door to the pancake house. As you all are escorted to your table and sit down, conversations begin to spark up.

“So last night was rather.. Interesting” You know that Danny sounds irritated. “Yeah ! I totally didn’t see that coming. Was a great performance though.” Lafontaine looks at you and smirks “Don’t you think L?”

“Yeah. Well totally- I mean Carm really does have amazing talent.” You respond, looking anywhere but the smiling Lafontaine.

“Carm? So you guys are like doing “nicknames” now?” She kinda sounds mad now.. You think to yourself. You dont know why you just said that, it kinda just went well for you. It wasn’t a nickname but more of just shortening the original. Carmilla did have some interesting nicknames for you though so you guess Danny isn't completely wrong.

“Well no. I guess it’s just easier then saying her full name” You reply softly. “Okay enough chit chat and more ordering!” Perry taps on the pile of menus in the middle of the table. You and the group pick up your menus and begin to look over the options. After ordering and receiving your plates yet another interesting thing happens.

“Wow, two days in a row! This must be some sort of coincidence.” Kirsch yells out while walking towards the table you all occupy. Danny sighs with great rage. “Why is it you must be everywhere I enjoy being. Don’t you have better shit to do? Like hooking up with some new chick to get over your ex?” Shes almost yelling now.

 _Oh this wasn’t going to go well._  You always knew you never wanted to get on Danny’s bad side. The girl was kinda intense.

He rests his hands down on the table as he leans forward so he's just about hovering over you. “Hey just because you’re all mad cause you got beaver damned last night doesn’t mean you need to take it out on me”

“Beaver damned? What are you- 12?” Danny snaps. Once again.. you cut them both off. “Look guys, I like you both. You are both my friends so can we all just stop being childish and get along for a meal?” you let out a long ass sigh. Kirsch and Danny don't respond, they just give each other dirty looks and Kirsch sits himself down next to Perry and you.

“Well on another note… Perry had an idea for tonight that I think is totally cool.” Lafontaine interrupts the totally awkward tension. “Well I just thought since it’s Saturday and were all stressed about Mondays exam, That we could head back to the lustig tonight for Karaoke night!” Perry smiles.

Perry is such a good floor don. She was more like a mother figure to you then anything, Which you kinda lacked in your life. Yes the girl could be kinda tense sometimes-Okay- All the time, But she only meant well and genuinely cared about all of you. “Who doesn’t love karaoke night! I haven’t been in so long. Let’s totally do it!” you say while jumping in your seat. You can't help it. Karaoke kinda brings out a lot in you and you miss going almost every weekend with the group.

“I’m down” Kirsch smirks at Danny. If those two didn't hate each other so much you would almost say he was flirting with her. “Yeah me too” There's a lot of sass in Danny's tone, but she's looking at him like its a death match so that can't be good. It doesn't phase you though, Surely those two could get along for one night for you.

 

\--

You all finish up eating and get back to the dorm at around 11:30am. You had all agreed that you'd meet up at the lustig for 10pm. So of course an Idea came to mind.

 **Laura(11:45am):** _Hey so I have a question.. More of a request but yeah you know what I mean._

 **CakeCarm(11:48am):** _Doesn’t surprise me cupcake. Does your brain ever turn off? But yeah sure what is it?_

 **Laura(11:50am):** _Hey! Rude. But yeah anyways.. Tonight's karaoke night at the lustig and my friends and I were all gonna meet up there around 10 pm to get our minds off this stressful exam time. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to come..?_

 **CakeCarm(11:52am):** _And get death stares all night from agent Orange? I think I’ll pass cutie._

 **Laura(11:53am):** _I promise she will be on her best behavior and we don’t have to stick around the group the whole time._

 **CakeCarm(11:53am):** _Hmm, Tempting._

 **Laura(11:54am):** _Please? I’ll make it worth your while. :3_

 **CakeCarm(11:54am):** _I’m gonna hold you to that cupcake._

 _Yes! She said yes._ You weren't really expecting her too.. And so easily.  _Well Shit! What are you gonna wear?_

 

* * *

 

 

**Saturday**

**9:00am**

You didn’t sleep much  due to the constant reminders of how terrible you are rushing through your head all night. So you were up rather early. You lean over to pick up the napkin off your side table and look over the Name and number of the girl you don't quite understand yet. You ponder for a few more seconds before sending the text.

 **Carmilla(9:12am):** _You really surprised me last night, you don’t look like the kinda girl who gives random strangers her number._

 _She didn’t_. Laura looked like the type of girl who carried around bear spray and was in some silly self defense class her whole life. She seemed to be a very simple girl. She had surprised you a lot last night.

As you raise yourself out of bed you feel the hangover hit you **fast**. This is the part you hated the most about drinking, waking up feeling like complete shit. You stand up to pull your favorite band tee over your head, slip on your leather pants and make your way to the kitchen to turn the coffee machine on. Your phone vibrates in your pocket.

 **Will(9:25am):** _You didn’t text me last night to let me know if you got in safe. I’m mad at you now._

 **Carmilla(9:27am):** _Oh get over it Willy boy. I’m not dead. Also I’m the older sibling, no need to be checking in with my little brother._

 **Will(9:28am):** _Ouch Kitty, you wound me. I’m glad to hear my sassy brooding sister is still breathing though ;)_

You roll your eyes and smile. Sometimes that boy was just too much. As the ding of the coffee machine goes off to indicate it is ready, you pour yourself a cup and make your way towards the couch. To your surprise your phone lights up with another text notification

 **CreampuffLaura(9:32am):** _Yeah, well I guess there’s more to me then meets the eye ;P_

You smile.

 **Carmilla(9:33am):** _No need to lie miss Hollis, you can just tell the truth on the fact that’s it’s just because you think I’m hot._

You laugh a little at that, you can almost see the tiny brunette’s cheeks going red. It had happened so much last night and was something you believed would be forever embedded into your mind.

 **CreampuffLaura(9:35am):** _Oh well aren’t we full of them self this morning. ;)_

 **Carmilla(9:35am):** _All apart of the package cutie._    You sit your phone down and think about that for a minute. If only Laura knew how much you actually hated yourself. I wonder what she would think… _She’d probably run for the hills just like everyone else in your useless apathetic life._

After finishing your coffee, you reach over and pick up your guitar that is resting on the side of the couch and begin to strum. Testing out a new tune that just came to mind.

 

\--

 

When about an hour of writing down what could possibly be a new song had passed, you decide to take a warm shower hoping to help shake this Hangover. After you get out and get dressed, you head back towards the table where you had left your phone. Picking it up, you notice a new text from Laura.

 **CreampuffLaura(11:45am)** : _Hey so I have a question.. More of a request but yeah you know what I mean._

 **Carmilla(11:48am):** _Doesn’t surprise me cupcake. Does your brain ever turn off? But yeah sure what is it?_

 **CreampuffLaura(11:50am):** _Hey! Rude, But yeah anyways.. Tonight's karaoke night at the lustig and my friends and I were all gonna meet up there around 10 pm to get our minds off this stressful exam time. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to come..?_

You think back to last night and remember Laura’s tall body guard friend.

 **Carmilla(11:52am):** _And get death stares all night from agent Orange? I think I’ll pass cutie._

 **CreampuffLaura(11:53am):** _I promise she will be on her best behavior and we don’t have to stick around the group the whole time._

 **Carmilla(11:53am):** _Hmm, Tempting._

 **CreampuffLaura(11:54am)** : _Please? I’ll make it worth your while. :3_    You raise your eyebrow.

 **Carmilla(11:54am):** _I’m gonna hold you to that cupcake._

You weren't entirely sure how tonight was going to pan out, but if it was lame you will dip out of there the first chance you get. For some reason though the thought of seeing Laura again makes your cheeks heat up. _What is going on with me?_

You walk towards the fridge to grab a bottle and start off your morning by getting drunk. Again.

 

* * *

 

**9:00pm**

 

There was now only just under an hour until you had to be ready for the lustig- also to see Carmilla- and you have nothing to wear. It’s karaoke should you do something formal? You go into deep thought as to what style you are going to choose until you give up and just put on a black halter top and a flowy skirt you find at the back of your wardrobe. Your curiosity kicks in.

 **Laura(9:10pm):** _Hey, So what are you wearing tonight?_

 **CakeCarm(9:10pm):** _Wouldn’t you like to know._ You blush.

 **Laura(9:11pm):** _Sooo not what I meant, stop twisting my words “cutie”._

You can't help but smile at your mockery.

 **CakeCarm(9:14pm):** _Awh cute, you learned how to mock. But in all seriousness, probably just gonna wear something black and leathery._

You roll your eyes at that. _You should have known that already._

 **Laura(9:15pm):** _Should have guessed that. Ha. Well I’m just wearing something flowy that I happened to find buried away in my wardrobe_.

 **CakeCarm(9:16pm):** _No matter what it is, I bet you'll look beautiful._

Your heart skips for a second. Was Carmilla flirting with you ? But like not in her natural cocky way? Before you can respond you get another message.

 **CakeCarm(9:17pm):** _Hey did you want a ride ? I know its not that far from Silas but I pass you on the way anyways so might as well._ All of a sudden you get butterflies. _Why does that keep happening?_

 **Laura(9:17pm):** _Yeah sure! I mean if you want too. :)_

 **CakeCarm(9:18pm):** _Great. Ill be outside your dorm in 30._

 _Oh crap!_ You run to the bathroom to quickly fix up your hair and makeup. Not quite sure why but you shrug it off.

 

* * *

 

 

You throw on your black corset top and black leather pants. Making your way to the bathroom, You finish up your makeup and brush your hair. By the time you're done it's now 9:45pm.

You grab your keys off the hook next to your front door and make your way out of your apartment and down to your car. You pull up to Laura’s dorm at exactly 9:50. _Huh, Only being like 5 minutes from Silas did end up coming in handy after all._

You watch as Laura walks out the dorm door and heads towards your car. _Holy shit she looks gorgeous_. It kinda takes your breath away for a second. You manage to get it together just in time for Laura to get into the passenger seat.

“Well don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice?” You comment, With your very natural flirty approach. “I’m not the one in the corset, which- Wow..” Laura trails off while looking you up and down. You let out a laugh, turning your head back towards the road to hide the redness that seems to be forming on your cheeks, and make your way towards the lustig.

_This is going to be a long night._

 

\--

 

You pull up to the lustig and park a few spots away from the front doors. As you turn your keys to shut the car off Laura speaks up. "Uh so hey.. Just a heads up, My friend Lafontaine identifies as Non-Binary and goes by They/Them pronouns" She looks over at you. "No worries cupcake, I respect peoples individuality." You smile and open your door. You both get out and make your way towards the bar. Upon entering You noticed the Ginger squad right away. How can you not? _It looks like someone set fire to the booth._

You and Laura walk up to the group and instantly get shot with confused looks. “Uh L, Didn’t know you were bringing a friend” Ginger 1 smirks while looking back and forth between you and Laura.

“Yeah well it’s karaoke night and if I want to win I’m gonna need some talent on my side.” Laura responds. You blush a bit at that.

“Well hey! I’m Lafontaine” They smile. “This is Perry” Perry gives a shy wave. “and that there..” They look over at that Xena chick and some jock arguing about who would go get the drinks. “That’s Zeta/Society.” They laugh.

“Hey! It’s Danny. Don’t ever pair me and jock strap over here together again.” Danny snaps at Lafontaine. “My name’s kirsch. Get it right.” He flicks a coin at Xena.

“Uh, Hey.” Your tone is a lot more weary then before.

“Okaaaay well clearly we should start to pick our team names!” Laura says quickly, to cut the tension you assume. “Were always Laferry frosh you know that” Lafontaine winks and glances over at the slightly blushing Perry. “Okay well if we are doing mash ups of our names then…. Carmilla and I can be Hollstein.” Laura smiles.

“Hollstein? That’s the best you got cupcake?” You raise your eyebrow at Laura and smirk. “Why, you got something better?”

 _How does Laura manage to turn everything into a challenge?_ “No, I just like to see that bunched up face you make when you’re flustered, it’s hilarious buttercup”.   You can be Sly sometimes.

There’s that red face again. _Yup,_ Laura blushing is probably your favorite sight. “Wait , so that means I have to be paired with this fuck head?” Danny raises her tone a bit as she points to Kirsch. “Oh come on, My singing will balance out your horrible voice so it works” Kirsch laughs like he just made the best joke in the world. You can't help but chuckle as well.

You believe Danny was just about to punch him until Lafontaine cut in-

“Sorry Danny.. But what do you guys want your name to be?” They say in a very apologetic tone while glancing over at Kirsch. “Zeta/Society” Kirsch butts in while raising his eyebrow and sending Danny a wink. Danny shakes her head and sighs.

 

\--

 

You and Laura had made your way up towards the bar to get drinks and honestly you couldn’t be happier because the longer you sat with the group of Laura’s friends the more you wanted to rip your ears off. _You can swear they were bleeding._ You both sit down on the stools as Will walks over to greet you.

“Hey Kitty, didn’t expect to see you back here so soon.. Or ever again” He's laughing but he kinda looks confused. “Yeah well little miss tightly wound over here needed my talent to help her win karaoke night so I decided to be nice” You respond in a playful tone.

“Hey , I can hold my own. You’ll see” Laura shoots back.

You unlock your phone to your recent conversation with Laura, but the wallet that was currently resting on your lap is now on the floor. You set your phone on the bar and bend down to grab it.

“Wow. Such thought went into that”. You glance up to see Laura smirking at her contact name in your phone. “Oh that? Ha. Yeah cutie it kinda just stuck well” You wink and pause. Now setting your wallet on top of the bar. “Well, whats mine?” You wait as Laura fishes her phone from her pocket to unlock it. When you glance down at the phone screen to see “CakeCarm” as your Contact name you squint your eyes.

“Hmm..” You look back to Laura. “I don’t get it cupcake.” “Well you did say you had Layers and I did say I wanted to see more of them” Laura laughs at her own joke. "Cakes tend to have layers, Plus you're always calling me stuff to do with pastries so why not?" She shuffles in her seat. “And the Carm thing.. I don’t know, It was shorter and kinda rang a bell so I kept it.” she blushes.

You look at Laura in a way you never have before. Was is curiosity ? Wonder? Confusion? Well it was something you didn't quite understand but Laura seems to catch it.

“Did I say something wrong..” Laura asks you with concern in her voice. “No cutie, It’s just… There’s only ever been one other person to call me that.. And I guess you can say we kinda sorta had a bit of a falling out.” You sigh, picking up your beer to take a sip. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.. I can change it if you wan’t” Laura looks at her hands and starts to delete your contact name.

“No no, it actually sounds quite nice off your lips.” You smirk while bringing the beer back up to your mouth. _Laura blushing will never get old_. You're certain of that now. _Her biting her lip though.._ That was new, and rather distracting. You can’t help but wonder how nice Laura’s lips would feel on yours-- ~~_Nope, Nope Carmilla you don’t do feelings._~~ To many people get hurt that way.

But why did Laura’s lips have to look so soft? _Ugh, Karnstein shut up!_  

You reach over and grab Laura’s phone to change your name to “Carm” and give Laura a warm smile, setting it back down on the bar in front of the brunette. Laura grabs yours to delete “Creampuff” and left just “Laura”. So being Carmilla, You take it back and quickly type “Tiny” in front of “Laura” and give her a small wink. Of course Laura argues about that for a while but you end up winning, Like you always do.

 

 

 

* * *

 

It was time for their group to take over the stage, so Lafontaine and Perry go first, _Like always_. No matter what anyone said, you knew those two were created for one another. Obviously they do some sort of duet of a song you don't know, But just watching those two in unison makes your heart warm.

Danny and Kirsch go second and don't even get through picking songs before a fight breaks out, Needless to say they lost.

So all that left was you and Carmilla. You decide to go first considering that instant spark of confidence had came back.

“Woah , what are you doing cutie?” Carm asks as you get up. “What, you think you’re the only one who can sing? Ha! I told you I can hold my own” You respond while flipping your hair and walk towards the stage. _Good one Hollis, That’ll show her_!

As you make it up to the karaoke machine you scroll through the list of songs. You have no Idea what you want to sing, All you know is you need it to wipe that smirk off of the very pretty- very cocky raven haired girl staring at you from the bottom of the stage. Glancing back at the screen, you find it. _Perfect_!

The beginning tune of the song “Dracula by Bae miller” Shoots out. You look down at Carmilla and Smirk as you begin the first verse.

 _Here is my story, I've got my type_  
_Tattoos and skinny jeans, black boots and piercings_  
_A public enemy_  
_Not Cinderella, still got my shoes_  
_I like the animal, the supernatural_  
_Maybe I'm crazy but.._

You close Your eyes to start the chorus.

 _If you were Dracula_  
_I'd be letting you take that bite_  
_Hot and hazardous_  
_Like playing with dynamite_

 _Yeah I want Dracula_  
_Forever be young and wild_  
_Dark and dangerous_  
_Yeah I love, I love the tragically beautiful_

You lock eyes with Carmilla just then, and don't regret it one bit when you can see the Raven haired girl’s mouth hanging open. You wink as you go into the rest of the song

_Only one kiss, only one Only one kiss, you'll be k-k-k-k-killing me_

_If you were Dracula_  
_I'd be letting you take that bite_  
_Hot and hazardous_  
_Like playing with dynamite_

 _Yeah I want Dracula_  
_Forever be young and wild_  
_Dark and dangerous_  
_Yeah I love, I love the tragically beautiful_

You finish, hand the mic down to Carmilla and walk off the stage with pride.

“Ha, Beat that Karnstein” Carmilla lets out a laugh. “Aren’t we supposed to be a team here cupcake?” She raises an eyebrow to you.

“Yeah but I had to prove to you that you’re not the only one with talent” You're positive you surprised the broody musician. “I never doubted you for a moment creampuff” Carmilla gives you a wink as she turns around to make her way to the stage. _Stop blushing Hollis, you’re trying to be cocky._ But if you were honest, Carmilla was much better at that quality. You like being charmed by her. _Like- In a friend way_.

Carmilla leads out into a song you have never heard before. But you can tell Carmilla knows it very well. Whatever it is, it seemed to bring a lot of emotion out in you. The way Carmilla sings is like shes trying to make a point that she could never say in person, but only lets it out in songs.

 

\--

 

After the little singing fest you all walk back to the booth and tally the score. Well Danny and Kirsch are out so it was only Laferry and Hollstein. Looking at the score on the machine turns out You and Carmilla had won by 2 points. _It was sooo because of you._

By midnight you all decide to head home and get some sleep. “Hey so since you’ve been drinking and can’t drive.. Did you want to walk with me?” You turn to ask Carmilla nervously. “Sure cupcake. I only live 5 minutes from your dorm anyways.” She smiles as you all get up and make your way to the door.

On the walk back, Lafontaine and the group had been way ahead of you so they were no where to be seen. It was surprisingly silent the whole time, But you can't help but feel like it wasn't the awkward kind of silence but more.. _Comforting._ As you both walk up to the dorm, You turn to face Carmilla.

“I had a great time, I’m so glad you came.” You breath out.

“So did I cupcake, can’t believe you beat me at my own profession” Carmilla laughs slightly at that. “I told you there’s more to me then meets the eye.” You half smirk trying to prove a point, but you always fail horribly at that.

“I just bet” Carmillas voice is a lot lower then it was two seconds ago.. Your stomach instantly turns into knots as Carmilla moves a little closer then you'd like. Well, It’s not that you didn’t like it.. But it makes your entire body freeze up. You hold your breath.

“Thank’s for inviting me cutie” Carmilla adds while giving you that intense stare she had given you the first time you met by the stage. “Uh.. No- no problem” You try to reply but the words come out jumbled. You can't help it, Carmilla’s face is so close to yours, you are certain if you just moved a little closer you would be kis--

Your train of thought is quickly cut off when you feel Carmilla’s lips on your forehead. Your entire body goes numb. When Carmilla pulls back to look at you, You both lock eyes for what feels like an eternity. All you can think about is how Carmillas lips would feel on yours. Something in you wants to know so badly. _You're just drunk._ You shake Yourself out of that thought and blush. Hoping Carmilla doesn't notice how flustered you've become. “Goodnight Carm” You say very softly.

“Goodnight Laura.” Carmilla smiles.

You make your way up and through the dorm doors before you realize that is the first time Carmilla has ever said your name. And You can't help but think that it belongs on Carmillas tongue.


	5. Sleepover's and Champagne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura come to terms with how she really feels (Well Kinda).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this update was superrr delayed but I've had major writers block for the past month. And and ALSO- To the ones who have already read the previous chapters I kinda went back and Revised my whole story and changed the Writing style. I wasn't fully happy with doing it from a Narrators point of view. So I do request going back and re reading because I took some stuff out and Added other stuff. Yell at me in the comments if you must <3

**2 weeks later**

 

You are finally on your way back to your dorm upon finishing your second last midterm before the Christmas break. After cramming so hard and countless hours of studying, you can finally lay down and just relax for a change. These past two weeks have been so busy you hadn’t had the chance to do anything really -that included seeing Carmilla- You had kept up the back and forth texting and pointless flirting; On Carmilla's part, definitely not yours..

(Well, Maybe once or twice.)

But still, you can’t help but think about the last time you saw each other. _Did you almost kiss?_   Did you really want to kiss her or was the lack of space between you both what made your mind all foggy. Maybe it was the alcohol running through your blood. Your brain has been fighting with reasons ever since you parted. Now that you finally have a night to yourself, you can definitely try and get to the bottom of it--

Your train of thought gets abruptly cut off as you slam right into someone in the hall causing you to drop your satchel and the countless textbooks you are caring. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry Laura” Danny says apologetically while bending down to help you retrieve your books. “Oh hey Danny! No don’t apologize. It’s totally my fault, My brain was else where I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You reply quickly, picking up the last book that lays on the hallway floor.

You both stand and look at each other while you nervously try to hide the redness that's forming on your cheeks. “Where are you headed in such a rush Hollis? You left history so quickly before I could talk to you.” Danny seems a tad bit flustered.  You pause. _Did you really seem in such a rush today?_   You didn’t feel like it. “Sorry I didn’t notice you wanted to talk to me.” you look down at the mountain of books in your arms. “Was it important?”

“No nothing too serious. Was just going to see what you had planned for after classes today” She says while brushing her foot across the floor, Which you assume must be something she does when shes nervous. “Oh!”. You hadn’t really thought about it. The first thing that comes to mind is binge eating those packs of cookies you just bought and throwing on the first season of Doctor Who. “I haven’t really decided yet”.

“Awesome. I mean, I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna hang out? Just us for a change?” That last part came out a bit shaky.  Something in you knows that if you were going to have company.. Danny isn't the first person that comes to mind. Maybe a certain Raven haired girl would enjoy watching Netflix and pigging out on snacks with you?

(That sparks an idea.)

“I actually think I may invite Carm over to hang out and binge watch doctor who with me” You pause for a second. “Would you want to join us?” you add with a smile.

“You mean be in the same small room with Karnstein? Yeah, I think I’d rather go on a date with Kirsch then do that.” Danny groans. “Laura, Do you really think she’s the type of person you want to be around? She’s a stuck up drama queen. Also, she’s kind of bad news.”

You can't help but feel angry. You try to include Danny and this is her response? After the stressful day you just had this is not what you needed right now. The red head had pushed you too far this time, and that’s extremely hard to do with you.

“Oh so now you have a say on who I can and Can’t be friends with?” you say with a huff while pressing the books farther into your chest. “No Laura , that’s not what I meant--” But you rapidly cut her off before she can say anything else.

“No. I've tried to include you and have all of us get along. Every time Kirsch is around you can’t even suck it up and just be mature for me even for a second. Like I’ve said before, I like you. All of you. You are all my friends and I will not play in between the sides like this. You don’t need to guard over me like I’m some child who needs protection. I already have a dad. I don’t need another one.” there was a lot more anger in your voice then you thought you even confined in this tiny body of yours. Can you be blamed though? It was starting to be a little too much.

There is a huge silence that falls over both of you. For a little bit there, you don't think Danny is even going to respond. “Alright.. I’ll back off I guess.” She reply's softly. “Just.. Be careful. I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

There is the silence again. You can't seem to do anything but bite the inside of your cheek and stare at the now empty floor. “I guess I’ll see you in class” Danny adds, and you think she's waiting for a response from you. But, You can't bare to look at the red head. _Were you too harsh?_   You really don't like hurting people but this was starting to feel like you were being smothered with a 40 pound blanket. Your father used to do the exact same thing and you refuse to let it happen to you at collage.

Danny takes the silence as a sign to leave. As the tall girl walks down the hall way and turns the corner; Now out of sight, You let out the breath you've been holding. You can't really put into words how you feel.. Relieved? Upset?

 

\--

 

You make your way through the campus and up to the dorm before you remember that you haven't even asked Carmilla if she would want to come see you. You walk up the stairs and make it up to your room as you set your books down on the bed side table and pull out your phone to text that _overly_ cocky friend of yours.

 **Laura(5:03pm):** _Hey, So I was thinking.. I’m done all my classes for the day and don’t have my last midterm till 3pm tomorrow. Was curious if you’d wanna have a little sleepover with me? :p_

 **Carm(5:05pm):** _Sleepover? Hmm haven’t had one of those since I was 12._

 **Laura(5:07pm):** _Oh shut up, you know what I meant. Now does the pretentious musician want to accompany yours truly or should I strip down and lay in bed all night?_

 **Carm(5:07pm):** _If there’s going to be stripping involved I am already on my way cutie._

You can't help the eye roll, But if you were to be honest you didn't really expect anything less from her.

 **Laura(5:12pm):** _You are unbelievable. Be here by 7. Gives me time to have everything set up. :)_

 **Carm(5:15pm):** _Demanding, I like it. See you soon cupcake._

Thank god you stocked up on grape soda and cookies yesterday.

 

\--

 

The night progresses and you have just about everything set up. The T.V is ready and the first episode of Doctor Who appears paused on the screen. The snacks and drinks are set out on the table and you shove all of the things that cover the floor under your bed. All that was left was to pick out your outfit. After giving it much thought, you go with a pair of short’s that are a little too tiny on you now, and a firm fitting tank top. It is _definitely_ attire you would wear when a friend's coming over. _You're positive._

It is now 6:45 and you snap out of your crazy perfectionist mind to the sound of your phone going off. “So are you just gonna leave me standing outside in the cold to freeze my ass off or are you going to come escort me in cutie?” Carmilla laughs as you answer the phone call. “You’re here already? Wow never pegged you to be the early type” You reply while slipping on your shoes. “Well when a cute girl invites you over for a sleepover and stripping, You kinda want to arrive on time for that party.” There's so much certainty in her voice that you cant help the scoff that comes out. You can almost see the smirk that’s across her face right now. She’s _so_ full of herself.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll be right there” You mock as you make your way to the stairwell. “I’ll be waiting cupcake”. You hang up so you can have enough time to stop the redness from forming on your cheeks before you reach the front of the dorm. No need to let the Raven haired girl know just how much she effects you.

As you make your way to the front doors, you see Carmilla leaning up against her car; That's parked just outside the Dorm. You smile as you push the doors open and enter the cold winter air. “You know, You could have waited inside the foyer instead of outside in this cold.”  “You invited me over, So you have to be the one to invite me in. I don’t make the rules cutie.” She smirks while pushing herself off the car and walks towards You holding a very - Wait is that Champagne ?

“What’s with the ludicrously expensive wine ?” _Leave it to Carmilla to bring the Alcohol_. "What, this?” Carmilla looks down at the bottle she is holding in her right hand. “I felt like bringing a treat for both of us” She cocks her head to the side and smirks. Your cheeks light up instantaneously. _Why does she have this much of an effect on you?_

You don't realize how long you're inside your own head until Carmilla speaks up. “Sooo, Are we gonna go inside or are we going to freeze to death out here?” Her tone is half playful half serious. “Oh yeah! Follow me” You reply while turning around to grab the door handle.

Both of you tread towards the elevator when you noticed a sudden stiffen in Carmilla’s posture. As the elevator opens and you both step in, You can almost swear Carmilla’s face goes completely pale. Well, More pale then usual. You don't have it in you to ask what's wrong, not wanting to pry. So you continue your way up the floors in silence. Upon arrival to the 3rd floor you walk out as Carmilla follows close behind, until you reach room 307. This is it. You turn the handle and are a little nervous to see Carm’s reaction to your own personal space.

“Wow, you really took this sleepover thing seriously huh cupcake?” Carmilla expresses while looking at the table full of snacks and the T.V that's already been ready for you to start watching. “I haven’t had company in a long time, So I wanted to go all out” You smile nervously. You make your way to your bed while Carmilla grabs two glasses out of the cupboard for the Champagne. She pours both of you a glass and strolls her way towards the bed across from you.

“So how come you don’t have a roommate? Isn’t that Like a policy or something?” Carmilla asks as she passes you the glass in her right hand. You take it from her appreciatively. “Well I guess they just haven’t found someone yet. I don’t really know.. I've been thinking the same thing”. You Pause. “Sooo I thought we could just pig out and watch my favorite show! You probably don’t like it but that’s okay cause I’m gonna force you to enjoy it with me”. You smile while taking a sip from the glass. You honestly haven't had company in a long time and you just want whatever this is to go well, Considering you don't entirely know where you and Carmilla stand yet.

Carmilla raises her eyebrow and swishes the champagne around in her glass. “Well cutie, If you were going to force me to do anything, I definitely didn't think it was gonna be this” She gestures towards the T.V. You choke a bit on the sip you just took. _What’s that supposed to mean?_   “Not everything's all about you, you know.” You manage to say after recovering from your coughing fit.

“I think we both know that it wouldn’t just be ' _All about me_ ’”. Carmilla drops her tone while locking eye contact with you. _Well this escalated quickly._ You drink the rest of your glass in one sip to keep yourself from saying anything that you might regret later. Carmilla laughs under her breath as she finishes off her glass as well. Your cheeks are bright red now, that is certain.

Carmilla stands up and raises her hand out to ask for your glass. You hand it to her and She walks back towards the kitchen to top both of them off. She makes her way back towards you but instead of returning to the bed across from you she is now sitting right beside you, So close that her thigh is pressed up against yours. She turns her head to the side slightly but all you can do is look at your hands. “You’re really easy to get to cupcake, you should work on that” She speaks up, passing you the newly filled glass.

“Well maybe if you weren’t so intimidating it would be easy to ignore.” You let that slip out before thinking. “My my, Miss Hollis. You find me intimidating? Do I really get under your skin that much?” Her voice is a lot lower then before.

There was that tension you felt the last time you were together. You raise your head to look at her. She has this spark in her gaze that you can't quite put your finger on until you notice the slight raise of her lips that form into a smirk. _Oh how they would feel pressed up against your own._ Your teeth graze your bottom lip as your mind wanders on the thought. You lock eye contact once more and you're pretty sure Carmilla's about to kiss you when-

Just like that, The moment is completely shattered from an excited Lafontaine barging into your room.

“Hey Laur! You’ll never guess what just happened!” They yell as they run into the room. They look over to you and you assume they notice how flustered you are; While Also noticing the Very, very angry looking Carmilla. “Oh shit! I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” You glance back at Carmilla then Lafontaine. “What? No! You weren’t interrupting anything.” You pause as you can feel your cheeks heating up. Lafontaine doesn't look too convinced so you quickly change the mood “What is it that happened?”.

“Yeaaaah… Okay.” Laf reply's as if they know something you don't. “Well, The summers have decided to throw the annual Christmas party this year so that means we all get to get hella drunk without the Zeta’s ruining the entire thing.” They breath and tilt their head slightly. “It also means you’ll get to see Danny all dressed up”

A loud gagging sound comes from Carmilla that makes both Lafontaine and you turn to look at her. “What? Sorry, was just imagining Xena in a Santa outfit and I had to hold back My vomit.” She gets up to refill her now empty glass. You watch as she walks over to the kitchen. _How can someone look so good in leather jeans?_   This defiantly isn't helping your dilemma.

“Uhm, Earth to Laura?” Laf raises their hands and shakes them in front of you. “Yeah! That’s awesome Laf, But Danny and I aren’t on such good terms right now”. You frown, looking down at your wine glass. “What do you mean? Aren't you guys practically dating?” They add with concern.

“No. We aren't. And we got into a little argument over her being a bit over protective on who I hang out with”. Carmilla turns around at that comment to look directly at you with an eyebrow raised. “Hmmm, Well I understand that then. I mean Perr had a hard time transitioning to me being Lafontaine instead of Susan and it took a lot of arguments to finally settle things between us” They drop their gaze to the floor. “Well if it makes you both feel any better, My mother still thinks my sexuality is a big joke I’m playing on her.” Carmilla speaks up as she raises her glass to her lips. She makes her way back over to the bed across from you while you both gaze at her.

“I mean, When I came out as a lesbian, she put it off like it was just some phase I was going through.” She pauses to take another sip from her glass. “That is until she walked in on me fucking my girlfriend”. She smirks while swishing the liquid around in her hand.

You can't help but gasp at that. You had no idea Carmilla was gay. You just thought that the girl flirted with everyone because she was so full of herself.

(But rewind back to like 10 minutes ago and you totally thought she was about to kiss you so you're kinda contradicting yourself here.)

“Well I’m gonna clear outta here.. See ya Later L.” Laf turns around to leave but cocks their head back to give you a wink. They shut the door silently behind them.

You stare at Carmilla for a few minutes, she's looking down at her champagne glass with a look that makes you assume shes a little lost in thought. Maybe she _was_ flirting with you for real then?  “I am too.” You say very quietly. “You are what cutie?”

“Gay.” You look down at your glass then back up to make eye contact with her. “I know.” Carmilla smirks. “I mean, Nobody just gives a random girl their number in a bar if they aren’t somewhat interested” She lets out a proud laugh.

“That not why I did it! I just wanted to get to know you better”. You know that isn't _entirely_   true but you sure as hell aren't gonna feed her ego. “Yeah alright. Now are we gonna watch this nerdy show you picked out or am I gonna finish this entire bottle by myself?”

“It’s not nerdy, it’s a classic.”

 

\--

You are 4 episodes in until Carmillas sighs and outrageous comments have finally gotten on your last nerve. You stand up to turn the T.V Off. While making your way back over to your bed to slip under the covers, you let out a slight yawn.

“Tired already creampuff? I expected more of a fight out of you” Carmilla announces as she gets up to walk towards the window beside your kitchen. “What are you doing?” You prop yourself up on one elbow to face Carmilla. “Looking at the stars”. She tilts her head upwards to get a better view of the sky. “Oh.”

“It’s comforting… to think how small we are in comparison. All the lives we’ve lead, the people we’ve been.. Nothing to that light.” She lets out a small sigh. “You definitely would have been a philosophy major”.

( Somewhere between that conversation and watching Carmilla slip into the bed across from you, you fall asleep.)

 

\--

You wake up to a still very much asleep Carmilla who is sprawled across the bed frame next to you. _And Is that your yellow pillow?_   When did she even take that?

You can't help but stare at the girl that is fast asleep. She looks so soft.. _So light_. Nothing compared to her natural hardened shell she constantly has wrapped around her. You feel like this may be the most vulnerable you have ever seen Carmilla. You bask in it just a while longer before getting up to take a shower.

\--

Thoughts from the night before rush through your head as the warm water hits your bare skin. _So Carmilla is gay._ That intrigues you in a way you don’t quite understand. Also, You could have sworn she was about to kiss you right before Lafontaine barged in, That would be the second time that you've felt that now. Would you have even wanted Carmilla to kiss you?

Why are you even denying it anymore?  _Of course you did_.

You get out and dry yourself off before putting on your clothes for the day. As you walk out of the bathroom, to your surprise; you notice a very much awake Carmilla sitting upwards with a book in hand. “Sorry, I really hope I didn’t wake you” You take the towel off your head and run it across your hair to dry it, making your way towards the side of your bed to sit down. Carmilla's gaze stays on her novel. “It’s 2:30 cupcake. How long do you think I sleep in?”. She smiles.

You glance over at the clock. Shit, Did you really sleep in that late? “Oh my god! My English midterm is in 30 minutes.” You rush around the room to gather your books. “I’m so gonna be late”. You pick up the last of your things and start to slip your shoes on. “Would you like me to walk you to class?” Carmilla asks, suddenly gathering her things as well. “You don’t have to. I know you aren’t too fond of Danny. She’s my TA for that class.” You pause, remembering how your last conversation with the red head had gone; “Oh shit… She’s _soo_ gonna fail me.”

Carmilla picks up your jacket and holds it out so you can shrug it on. “Don’t worry cupcake, I want too. And if the giant bodyguard fails you because she’s jealous of me, then I’ll have a little chat with her myself.” You both make your way out the door and into the hall way. You highly remember how stiff the girl had gotten last night on the elevator ride and change your route to the stairwell. “No, You Don’t have to. I don’t think Danny would do that but I can only hope for the best”. You sigh as you both enter the cold winter afternoon.

 

\--

You make it up to the front door of your LIT class where Danny is already stationed at the front. You make eye contact with her for a slight second before turning back to Carmilla. “Thanks for walking me. I really didn’t mean to sleep in that late.. We could have had more time to spend this morning.” You look down at your hands that are now rubbing up and down your thigh. “No need to worry cutie, we will have lots of other times to make up for it.” She gives you a warm smile and passes you the books she has been generously holding for you. You suddenly remember what Lafontaine had mentioned last night. _The Christmas party_.

“Hey so on Friday, As you know, the summer’s are holding the annual Christmas party. It’s a plus one event.. So” You take a deep breath. “Maybe you’d wanna be that plus one?” Carmilla laughs a little while reaching her hand over to lift your chin up to look at her. “Laura, Do you really think little miss TA over there is going to want me at one of her parties? Right after you reamed her out about our friendship?”

(You don't let it show how the word 'friendship' stings a little.) You did wan't to know where you both stood.. Well there's your answer.

“It’s not just her party. It’s the entire summer society’s. And everyone is aloud a plus one so I can bring whoever the hell I want” You grin.

“Well, How can I say no to that response?” She smiles. “It’s a date miss Hollis.” She moves her hand up to cup your- now entirely red cheek. As she leans in you can swear your heart stops. It's instantly rebooted as soon as Carmilla’s lips press against your forehead. _How can a heart even beat this fast?_ You watch as Carmilla gives you a quick smirk and turns to leave.

Maybe this whole 'Friendship' thing wasn't so bad after all, Either way Carmilla was in your life now and you wouldn't ask for anything better.

(Even though you do have such a desire to know what Carmilla's skin would feel like under your finger tips, You can settle for this)

But right now, You have bigger things to deal with. Like attempting to pass this LIT midterm when your very jealous looking TA had just seen yours and Carmilla’s interaction.

Oh this is gonna be _super_ fun.


	6. You never came back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 14 years you finally decided it's about time you re connect with Mattie. Will she even remember you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay So yes I know this Chapter is waay shorter then Some but I honestly didn't want to expand considering the next chapter has A lot of dialogue and some very interesting things to come .. Muaha.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Thursday.**  
**8:30am**

  
After dropping Laura off, you had spent the rest of your day yesterday writing out what you believed to be two new songs.

You went to bed rather early after consuming way more then a few beers. It didn't help that your thoughts had brought you right back to that dark corner again.. 

\--

You're shaken awake by the sound of your phone ringing. _Unknown number?_   Nobody ever calls you this early..

You answer the phone but before you can even breath a word out you're accompanied by the voice you resent the most.

“So I heard you were on campus yesterday. That's too bad, I would have loved to speak to you.”

“There’s a reason why you didn’t see me. I’ve changed my number three times in the last two months. Now maybe you should start doing something else with your time rather then fucking stalking me Lilita.” You all but yell into the phone. “Now now, is that anyway to speak to your mothe-”

But you don't give her time to finish that sentence. “-You are _not_ my Mother.” Your voice is deadpan “You may have William brainwashed, but you will _always_ be a worthless piece of scum to me”. You hang up before she can say another word.

You cant help the very exasperated sigh that passes your lips.

Why can't you just get away from her? Even after changing your number multiple times and moving out on your own, Your psychotic 'mother' still found ways to make your life a living hell.

You throw the phone down on the pillow next to you and push yourself up on the side of the bed, your feet meeting the cold floor beneath you. Every time you hear that fucking voice of her's all the flashbacks come back like a wave hitting the shore. But the one you think of the most is the memory of her locking you away in that tiny ass closet for days on end.

The reason why you hate small spaces, and the Dark.

If only there was something to take all these dark thoughts away.. Just a small ray of light to start off your morning with.

(Maybe you just aren't worthy of that light.)

There is only one person you finally needed in this specific situation. Maybe it was about time you paid your sister a little visit.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **Thursday**  
**3pm**

 

It's the day before the Christmas party and you are just getting back from costume shopping with Lafontaine and Perry. You picked a very cute (very short) Red dress that matches with white and red knee high stockings and a Santa hat.

If you were to be completely honest with yourself, It looked kinda sexy on you. You've never really used that word to describe yourself before, but _you are_ in collage now; Maybe it was time to spice things up a little bit.

It's definitely an outfit your father wouldn't approve of.

Lafontaine and Perry got matching Elf costumes that read “Elf 1 & Elf 2” on them, Curtsy of Laf obviously. Sometimes they were so cute you wanted to hurl.

As you all make your way up to your floor the silence is interrupted by a highly interested sounding Perry. “So Laura, I’ve noticed you and Carmilla have been getting along nicely”.

“Yeah, If by ‘getting along’ you mean secretly crushing on each other” Lafontaine adds, and you can't help the nervous hitch in your laugh.

You definitely are crushing on Carmilla.. But she doesn't look at you the same way.

You notice Perry giving them a very anxious glance. While they just shrug as if to say 'Well, I’m not wrong'.

Wanting to ease the worried floor don, you speak up. “No it’s okay Perry, But Carmilla and I are just friends” You sigh and look down at the door handle in front of you.

  
“Just friends..”

 

 

* * *

 

**3pm**

 

Mattie had lived with you and Lilita up until you were 7. Being adopted almost immediately after birth, you had spent those whole seven years with her. Will, being adopted a year later- never got to meet her. You've told him all about her though.

But for you, she was that honorary big sister in your life. Mattie is six years older than you, so Lilita had used her for a lot of the fashion shows. (Sometimes both of you but you were a little too young to be full time yet.) Until around the time Mattie started to take an interest in the art program at her school and no longer wanted to work for Karnstein.

You still vividly remember the way you felt the day it happened. You arrived home from school to find a very cold, extremely empty room that belonged to Mataska. You were instantly filled with desolation and a hundred and one questions as to why this could have happened. Lilita had sent Mattie away to some foreign all girls boarding school. She had taken her away from you. Just like everything else that was good in your life.

To this day, You sure as hell know it was because of the bond You and Mattie shared. You didn't even get to say goodbye. The only thing you had left of her was the small black cat plushy that she gave you when you were 2. It was given to her by her Birth parents right before they gave her up, but she had told you that when you were crying, it was the only thing that would give you comfort.

She left it next to a note you assume she rushed to write that said 'Don't worry Carmilla, I'll come back for you'.

(But she never did, and To this day they're both always placed by your bed side.)

Lilita went to great lengths to make sure you would never find out where Mattie was. It wasn't until six months ago that you found the boarding school she was sent too through hours of searching Lilita's office. You were actually trying to find info on your birth parents before you moved out but happened to come across a very small brown envelop labeled 'The mistake'. It had every file on Mattie that there ever was. You contacted the school and found out that she moved on to become an Art major at The New York Academy of Art's.

After graduating she moved back to Austria just a town over from where you live, but you hadn't mustered up the courage yet to call or visit her since you found out. Considering you haven't seen her in 14 years. You have no idea what she's like, but you definitely know she got the better life. Which is all you could have wanted for her.

Again, If you had to suffer for Will and Mataska to be Happy, So be it.

After hours of research you discovered that she owns a small art gallery just off the bend of Styria, and today's the day you're going to meet her again.

 

\--

 

Considering you've been driving for almost an hour now you finally decide that _maybe_   you're a little lost and _maybe_ you should pull out your phone to use the GPS. You type in the coordinates and _just your luck,_ obviously you've been going the wrong way for the past 10 minutes. You pull a u-ey and make your way back towards the right turn you missed.

So much is running through your head, Like if she even wants to see you or If she'll even recognize you. You attempt to push those thoughts away because right now there's no one in the world you'd rather talk to at this very moment then her.

As you make a sharp right turn off the over pass you drive up to the small little shop that says 'Hello Darkness, My Old friend' on the dainty purple sign just above the clear glass double doors. _Maybe you and Mattie have more in common then you think._

You park a few spaces from the door and turn the keys to cut the engine. You cant help the lump in your throat and the knot in your stomach as you run your sweaty palms down your leather pants. You've waited 14 years for this day, you have so many questions.. It's time to just girl the hell up and do it.

You exit the car while making your way towards the very shiny glass doors and reach out to grab the metal door handle. You take a deep breath and enter the very nostalgic looking gallery.

The walls are lined with paintings upon paintings of very obscured Art. There's a bit of a pattern that you pick up on, Dark and light. Each painting tells a story to you, Some bring out despair and others seem more hopeful. Clearly Mattie expresses her emotions through her art like you do with your music, but somehow you're completely fixated on such articulate detail in the way she sends her message across. As you walk along the wall of Art lost in your own head, your interrupted by a voice you didn't know you missed so much until right this second.

"Are you an Artist? I've never seen someone so lost in my work before" The voice sounds so calm and soothing it almost brings instant tears to your eyes. You turn around to face her and _god is she ever beautiful_. She's wearing a long black trench coat that puffs upwards by the collar bone with matching black knee high boots. She looks So grown up and soo.. sophisticated. Everything you hoped to be.

By the look on her face you can only assume she recognizes you because it's not even a millisecond before tears are pooling in her eyes and she's hugging you so tight you think your lungs might collapse. You hug her back gracefully because in all these years that's all you've ever wanted. For her to hold you and tell you it's going to be okay.

(But she never came back.. And you had to fight through it alone)

She lets go of you and wipes the tears from her cheeks. You're so lost for words that you don't know what to do, so you just stand there and look at her.

"Carmilla.. How did you find me?" She pauses but your brain still cant rack up a word to say so she cuts back in "I've spent years looking for you, I couldn't find one file or connection to you" She grabs your left hand  "I assume that was Lilita's goal. But I never stopped looking Carm. I can't believe you're here, and so- grown up. Oh my god you've grown up.." She trails off as the tears continue to form on her face.

"You never came back." are the first things out of your mouth and it's such a gut wrenching feeling that you can't help the tears that are falling now. "I waited all those years.. I slept with your note by my bed and read it every night as a reminder that someday soon I would be out of that Hell we called a home." Your voice cracks on the word 'home'.

"Carmilla, I'm so sorry. I never planned it this way. My plan was to come back and take you with me to New York but Lilita made sure I had no idea where you guys had moved and she went to great lengths to hide you from me. But like I said, I never stopped looking for you. I'd spend days on end searching around all of the middle schools in Austria and never found a match. But then I came to the conclusion that she must have kept you home schooled so I couldn't link that to your location. I'm sorry I failed you.. I wanted nothing more then to save you Carmilla, please believe that." She reaches her hand up to wipe the tears from your cheeks and you can't help the way your arms wrap around her because no matter what has happened, Mattie was here now; And you weren't going to lose her again.

 

 

* * *

 

**5pm**

 

After re trying on your costumes with Perry and Laf deciding to make some concoction out of the things under your sink, they had both left and now you were stuck doing nothing for the rest of the night. The party is tomorrow and you'd be lying if you said you weren't nervous as hell. You've been to plenty of party's on campus but never one where _Carmilla_   was present. Also, considering each time you have drank together you get the sudden urge to feel her lips on your skin.. you aren't in the most relaxed state about this. Carmilla said you both were friends, and that's what you are.

You _totally_  didn't pick the shortest costume that you could find for any particular reason.

\--

You're half way through the first episode of Buffy when your accompanied by a knock. You don't recall expecting anyone so this is a little abrupt.

You pause the TV and make your way towards the door. Upon opening it, to your surprise, Danny is standing there looking very nervous if you might add. "Hey Laura, I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now but I can't stand this awkwardness between us. I'm sorry I lashed out on you the other day about Carmilla.. It was never my place to say anything." She reaches into her bag and pulls out a piece of paper that kinda looks like your midterm. "Here, I wanted to give this to you directly, Good job Hollis best in the class" She half smiles a you.

"Thanks Danny. And hey look, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like I did because it didn't solve anything. I'm not mad at you I just needed some breathing space and I definitely wasn't getting that around you. I just wan't you to know that I care about all of you and even if you don't see what I see in Carmilla, that shouldn't matter and you shouldn't let it come between _our_ friendship." You offer her a genuine smile and she mirrors the action.

"You're right Laura, No matter what, our friendship matters more to me so I'm sorry I acted out the way I did. I understand you don't need to be looked after".

"Good. Now are you gonna come join me or not?" You point over at the paused screen. "Couldn't imagine doing anything else" Danny smiles and you hold the door open wider so she can enter.

 

 

* * *

 

**7pm**

 

Mattie had decided to close up early so the both of you could go get a coffee and catch up. You talk about her schooling and success and your passion for music. You told her how when you started playing you just couldn't stop, it helped you tell your story without actually saying it. You both relate on that topic pretty highly. You both make plans to meet up at your place this upcoming week. You say your goodbyes and make your way to your car to endure this long ride home.

On the ride back you can't help but think of all the years you've missed with Mattie. _You both could have seen the world together._

But she's here now and you guess that's more important. You pull up to the lustig because a drink is definitely what you need right now.

As you walk in and make your way to the bar you notice Will talking to- probably hitting on- this girl by the stage. She's cute, But she doesn't look entirely interested. You chuckle to yourself considering you know _exactly_ why.

You decide to be a good sister and save him from the rejection that's to come. "Hey shit head, get me a beer" you yell over to him as he glances over to you with a look that screams 'Fuck off'.

"I'm waitinnnng" You sing song. He huffs and throws the rag hes holding up over his shoulder while he makes his way over to the bar. He sets a beer in front of you and you give him the biggest sarcastic smile you've ever given him in return. "You know, I don't ruin your pick-ups so why do you have to cock block me?" He's so pissed and you're loving ever bit of this.

"For one, You couldn't ruin my hookups even if you tried" you scoff "And two, she's not interested" you take a sip of your beer.

"How the hell do you know?" He sounds dead serious that you're just doing this to mess with him, so you're not gonna give it to him lightly.

"Because I slept with her last month"

You smirk as you watch his scrunched up face turn into disappointment. "Fucking awesome, Is there someone in this town you haven't slept with? Shit."  You smile "Hey, It's not my fault I'm hot. And yes actually there is.." you trail off as you lift the beer back up to your lips and direct your eyes around the bar.

"So _you are_ crushing on her then. Called it." He reaches over to grab the beer from your hands and takes a sip.

You snatch it back from him while punching him in the shoulder as he laughs.

It's not that he's wrong. You definitely like Laura, But you know she doesn't feel the same way. Why would she? She's so bright and you're so.. Dark. You're polar opposites. Also, you don't do relationships, or affection. You promised yourself that long ago and hookups have been keeping you at bay for a while now.

The weird part about it though is you know for a fact that you don't just want to touch Laura once, or twice or even ten times. You're quite certain that you could never stop wanting to touch her. You want to fall asleep talking about nonsense and wake up next to her smile; But you're terrified of getting close again, everything you touch you lose. Even the thought of losing Laura makes your stomach turn.

You don't know how but somewhere in this short period of time you've know her, She's managed to stay on your mind daily. Maybe it's the way she's so optimistic about everything, Maybe it's her free spirit, or how shes and extrovert and you've always been an introvert. Whatever it was, it made you crave her presence.

But you're just friends, and you have to respect that.

"I saw Mattie today" you finally say after debating on telling him at all. "What?" He stops wiping the counter to look at you "I've known her location for a while now but never conjured up the balls to go meet with her.. Until today". You finish off the bottle and toss it in the bin behind him.

"Well, how did it go? Can I meet her? What's she like?" He looks so excited that it makes your heart warm. If only he knew just how much you suffered for this. "She's coming over to my place on Tuesday. Come over for 3 so we can set up before she gets there". You stand up to leave as he yells out 'Wait Carm where are you going' but you ignore it and walk out into the cold air. It's been a while since you've walked home and you know you have to pass Silas, but that thought isn't so terrible anymore considering Laura occupies a room there.

You make your way down the street until you reach Laura's dorm and you let out a soft sigh because you only wish you could be up there in her arms.

But that's not reality and you'd never have that kind of luck.

You continue your walk to your apartment thinking about all the chances you've had to just kiss her but you decided last minute to back out and kiss her forehead instead. You don't want to do anything to jeopardizes your friendship with Laura so if that means hiding your feelings _then so be it_.

You need Laura because she lights up a part of you that can see clearly. You feel safe with her. Like you're a magnet re connecting with its base.

You walk up the stairs to your apartment and make it through the door before the urges kick in. You grab a beer from the fridge because god knows only Alcohol eases  
this craving.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**10pm**

 

You spent the past couple hours pigging out on junk food and watching Netflix while getting lost in quirky conversations with Danny, so you both end up deciding to call it a night. You see her out and promise to see her tomorrow at her Party. You pull out your phone to text Carmilla because surprisingly you both haven't talked much since the day she walked you to class.

 **Laura(10:24pm):** _Hey! So the Christmas party starts at 9pm tomorrow and Laf and Perry are meeting us there at 8:30 to help set up, Is that alright with you?_

You set the phone down on the table and shrug off the clothes you've been wearing to replace them with your Pajamas. You make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth  
and freshen up before bed. You walk back to grab your phone and cuddle up under the blankets. Your phone chimes a second later.

 **Carmilla(10:46pm):** _Yeah That's fine. Sorry I haven't been around much, I've been a bit busy. What time should I be at your dorm tomorrow?_

 **Laura(10:47pm):** _No worries, I totally understand :) And Hmmm 8. I want to surprise you with my costume. :p_

 **Carmilla(10:50):** _You probably shouldn't have said that Cutie, Now my minds wondering to not so innocent places._

You giggle a bit considering your costume definitely _isn't_ on the 'innocent' side of that scale.

 **Laura(10:52pm):** _That's the goal. Glad I accomplished it. ;)_

 **Carmilla(10:53pm):** _Be right back, Just need to take a Cold shower._

This hopeless crush of yours is  _definitely_   going to be the death of you.

 **Laura(10:54pm):** _Goodnight Carmilla._

 **Carmilla(10:54pm):** _Goodnight Laura._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm visiting family out of town right now so I'm hoping to have Chapter 7 posted by at least Thursday! Any input is greatly appreciated as always.


	7. The Christmas Party- Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, The 'Make room for Laf' title is strong here.
> 
> Come on Laura, You got this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used two songs here - Drive By Halsey & Believe in Dreams By Flyleaf. I do highly recommend listening to them when they are present in the chapter. I picked them for a reason.

Waking up to the sound of an alarm has you startled. You don’t normally set Alarms on Fridays because your classes don’t start till 3, but now it’s officially the Christmas break; And today you wanted to be up early enough to prepare yourself for the night ahead.

Okay, So maybe 7am was a little excessive, But there is no hiding your excitement this morning. You reach over and slide your thumb across your phone screen to cut the Harry potter theme music from playing and push yourself up out of bed. You told Carmilla to be here by eight so you still have plenty of time to get everything ready.

As you pick up your clothes for the day and make your way to the bathroom to shower, you start thinking about what Carmilla might wear for the Party. You know her enough now to understand that she’s very laid back and doesn’t entirely care what others view her as -Even if she is incredibly sexy- and a part of you feels like she knows that _oh too well._

In a way you’re jealous because you remember how she looked in the morning after she slept over, and honestly.. You couldn’t look that good even if you tried. A part of you still doesn’t understand what Carmilla see’s in you because she could have just about anyone as a Partner, let alone Friend.

 _Friend._ Yup, that word still bothers you; But you have to take what you can get.

And actually, she’s kind of closed off and is super bitchy to almost everyone.. Except you. She just hopelessly flirts with you and makes you feel super anxious all the time. Maybe Carmilla doesn’t like having friends.

_Then why you?_

 

\--

 

You finish up the rest of your shower, get dressed, and make your way down to the dorm community room. It’s basically just a lounge that has a very old style tube TV, Two couches that kinda look like the 50’s threw them up, and a kitchen- which is a sink, a fridge and a Microwave.

Once you reach the lounge you notice Perry making brownies in a mug and Lafontaine watching something sciencey while sprawled out on the furniture. “Hey L! Since when do you wake up this early on a Friday?” They push their body up in a sitting position.

“Also it’s Christmas break silly! Aren’t you normally one for sleeping in?” Perry giggles as she walks towards Laf and hands them a Mug. “Yeah, well.. Tonight’s the Christmas party and I want everything to be perfect” You say while making your way to the counter to prepare your hot cocoa for the morning.

“Laura, What are you so unprepared for? You’ve been to many of parties on campus, Plus Danny’s running it and you two are good friends” But before you can answer Perry , Lafontaine cuts in. “Perr She’s been to plenty of parties- yes, But none where Carmilla Karnstein was present” They laugh a little while taking a bite of the warm brownie.

You blush at that. It’s true, you shouldn’t be so nervous for tonight. It’s just a casual night out with friends. _One that you are completely crushing on.._ But friends none the less. You pour the contents of the Hot chocolate into your Tardis mug and add the hot water from the kettle. “It’s not like that..” Even Laf knows that’s a lie because they raise their eyebrow and nod like they can hear your own thoughts.

“I just know that Carmilla has never been to one of these, And her and Danny don’t entirely get along so I just want it to be a stress free night for everyone. Just drinking and dancing and having a good time” You smile to hide the blush that’s lurking up on you.

“And potentially getting Laid afterwards.” Laf smirks and you do your best to not let that comment effect you. You let out a sigh and join both of them in watching whatever nature show is on.

* * *

 

 

**3pm**

 

Last night was the first time you actually slept soundly in years.

Part of you knows it’s because Mattie is back in your life, and the other part knows it’s because you get to spend tonight with Laura.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. It’s not the party that makes you nervous, Or even being on campus and having Liltia possibly see you..

_It’s Laura._

Every time you’re around her you feel this sense of security, Like it’s okay to show her the darker parts of you. You haven’t felt this since you met Ell, but for some reason it’s different with Laura. Her smile shines brighter then Ell’s, Her hair looks softer, and her eyes are filled with such innocent views of the world.

Nothing compared to what you know.

And yet, Laura likes you anyways. She see’s past the sarcastic wall you carry over you to keep people out. She wants you around. She makes you feel like a part of you is worth wanting. Even if this _is_ only a friendship.

Normally you aren’t the type to hide feelings, You get what you want most of the time anyways. _Then you fuck it all up because that’s all you know how to do._ That thought alone is what keeps you from going anywhere further with Laura Hollis. You don’t want to lose her, So friendship is the safe ground.

 

\--

 

Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud pounding on your door. Clearly it isn’t someone who knows you well because if it was they would know that disturbing you gets them a ‘meet and greet’ with your fist.

You push yourself out of bed, throw on a tank top and shorts and make your way towards the door where the pounding has picked up. You’re certain now that whoever this is wont have any teeth left in .5 seconds. You unlock the chain and pull the door open with a “WHAT?!” but your vision picks up on Will standing with coffee and bagels.

“Woah kitty cat! Cranky much? I just came to bring you food because I sure as hell know you have nothing in that fridge of yours.” He walks past you and sits the coffees down on the table while unwrapping the bagels for both of you.

“You know not to show up unannounced like that, plus why the fuck are you here so early?” He laughs. “Early? Its 3 in the afternoon Carm..” He must have noticed the way your body stiffens at the nickname and corrects himself. “Uh sorry.. Carmilla.”

“Whatever. You never just show up like this. So.. What do you want Will?” You join him at the table and bring the coffee cup to your lips. “Why do I have to want something? Can’t I just come have a lovely lunch with my older sister?” He takes a bite and you set the cup down. “ _William_.”

He knows you only use his full name when you are either mad or dead serious about something.

“Fine. You ran out so fast last night that I didn’t get to ask you about your recurrence with Mattie.” You let out a sigh while taking a bite. “Carmilla please.. She’s our sister. I never got to meet her growing up but she meant so much to you. All the stories.. I just want to know her.” He’s got a look in his eye that screams desperation.

“If you really must know, She cried. She told me all about how she had been looking for me for years but always came up empty. I was speechless at first. But then we went out for coffee and talked about her work and my music”. You finish off your coffee and stand up to throw out the cup.

“Well what does she look like? Did you tell her about me? Does she want to meet me?” You let out a longer sigh this time. “She.. She looked stunning. Everything I knew she’d become.” You pause.

“Yes we talked about you, And she’s very excited to finally meet you. She knows how important you .. You are to-” but Will cuts you off before you can finish. “I know Carmilla. You don’t have to say it. I know.” He gives you a light smile and makes his way to throw out what’s left of lunch.

You shove him lightly in the shoulder and he sticks his tongue out at you. “Now was that all or do you have another desperation on hand?” He takes your hand in his and gets on one knee “Oh yes Carmilla, Please teach me your way of women” You rip your hand from his and push his head so that he falls on his ass.

“Oh fuck off ” You smile as he laughs while pushing himself up.

“You’re a real asshole sometimes you know that?” You smirk while lending him a hand up. “Well, I only learned from the best” He blows you a kiss and you pretend to gag.

“Okay well I’m gonna head back to campus and get ready for that party going down tonight.” He turns to leave but you interrupt him. “I thought the Zeta’s weren’t aloud at this one since the Summers were holding it?” He looks at you like you’ve just said something insane. “How the hell do you even know that?”

“I have my ways, but still. Answer the question” He smirks. “Yeah well Kirsch and I decided we were gonna show up anyway and if were not aloud in, I guess we will just have to crash it” He looks serious about that last part. “No. You will not. Tonight needs to be drama free for Laura. She’s super excited for it”.

His smile grows wider and your holding back actually punching him this time. “So you’re going then? I knew you and Laura were a thing. Fuck man you owe me 10 bucks” You laugh at his attempt. “I don’t owe you shit because we never bet on shit. Also, we are not a thing. Were just friends” He lets out a prolonged ‘Mhmmm’.

“All right sis whatever you say”. He’s almost out the door before your about to say something that definitely doesn’t help your case.

“Wait, Can I get a ride with you? I want to surprise Laura” He just looks at you and laughs as you make your way to your room to get changed.

 _Friends surprise each other all the time. Will’s just an idiot._ You sigh.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**4pm**

 

So the morning with Laf and Perry went well minus all the side comments that you’d rather not talk about.. Ever again.

You all had finished up the show and made your ways back to your rooms when you decided to take a little nap.

(Because who are you kidding? Sleep is like your best friend)

Also you really didn’t need to be up that early. Perry made you realize you were stressing over nothing. You had plenty of time to get things done, so a quick power nap wouldn’t hurt.

Except.. That power nap lasted 5 hours and even though you got up about 30 minutes ago, you were still obsessively cleaning and planning the rest of the night out in your head.

 

\--

 

**4:30pm**

 

You jump at the sudden knock on your door, because one, nobody ever knocks and two, you aren’t expecting anyone. You rest the clothes pile in your hands on your bed and realize you’re only in short shorts and a lose fitting tank top. _We’ll thank god this is an all girls dorm._ You open the door but let out a gasp as you’re accompanied by a familiar face.

“Hey cutie. Thought I’d come by early and bring you Hot chocolate” She looks you up and down “Buut it looks like you definitely weren’t ready for company so my apologizes.” She lets out a small laugh as you look down at yourself and blush.

“Well yeah.. I kinda took a nap and maybe.. sorta.. over slept” You open the door to let Carmilla in and she grazes past you to set the cup on your side table. “Huh.. And Will say’s I over sleep.” She chuckles while plopping herself down next to the pile of clothes you left.

“Also, sorry about the mess, I was in the middle of hyper cleaning before you ever so kindly showed up”. You lift the clothes and throw them into your wardrobe without a second thought. “Ha. If you think this is a mess, Remind me to never invite you over cupcake” You giggle at that. You’d love to see Carmilla’s apartment, _Specifically her bedroom_ but that’s a thought for another day.

“You play?” You raise an eyebrow while you follow Carmillas gaze and notice she’s eyeing your guitar in the back corner of the room.

“Oh that? Yeah.. I’ve been playing since I was 13 but nobody really knows because I’m not really good at it..” You let out a nervous laugh as you sit yourself down on the bed across from yours.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Carmilla gets up to pick up the guitar and places it in your hands. “Come on, Show me what you got” She smiles but this time it’s nothing but genuine. “I.. I’m really not that good Carm.. I wouldn’t even know what to play. I mean- I did write this song a long time ago for a girl I used to like back home”.

“Well then, Show me. I’d love to hear it.” And as you envision the lyrics in your head you can’t help but think how well it actually fits your situation _right now._

You begin to strum out the first verse and decide to just go for it.

 _My hands wrapped around the stick shift_  
_Swerving on the 405,_  
_I can never keep my eyes_  
_Off this_

 _My neck, the feeling of your soft lips_  
_Illuminated in the light,_  
_Bouncing off the exit signs_  
_I missed_

 _All we do is drive_  
_All we do is think about the feelings that we hide_  
_All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign_  
_Sick and full of pride_  
_All we do is drive_

You refuse to look at Carmilla but you can hear her shuffling across from you.

 _Your laugh echoes down the hallway_  
_Carves into my hollow chest,_  
_Spreads over the emptiness_  
_It's bliss_

 _It's so simple but we can't stay_  
_Overanalyze again_  
_Would it really kill you if we kissed?_

 _All we do is drive_  
_All we do is think about the feelings that we hide_  
_All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign_  
_Sick and full of pride_  
_All we do is drive_

 _And California never felt like home to me_  
_And California never felt like home_  
_And California never felt like home to me_  
_Until I had you on the open road and now we're singing_

You end the song and set the guitar next to you on the bed. You’ve never actually played for someone before and Carmilla does this for a career; so it’s no wonder your heart feels like its about to explode.

“You have a beautiful voice.. And you play wonderfully” You finally look up at her and her expression says it all. She looks stunned and taken back. “Well, Thank you. I’ve actually never played for anyone before so you’d be the first one to hear that song.” You smile at her because those lyrics fit so well right now it’s almost ironic.

“I thought you said you wrote it for a girl back home? You never played it for her?” You guys make eye contact then and it almost takes your breath away. “Uhm.. Well no. I kinda chickened out in the end and she ended up dating the guy on the football team. So I guess it was a no win for me anyways” You sigh.

“Well, She _definitely_ missed out.” Carmilla stands up and joins you on the other bed. “I’m honored to be the first one to hear it though. Kinda has a new meaning.” She moves closer to you and you let the words “I guess it really does” Slip out before you can stop them.

She reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear which makes your entire body freeze in place. You can feel the heat from her touch drag across your skin and you want nothing more then to feel that heat  _everywhere._

But instead, You say “I totally forgot! I need to take a shower!” while getting up to rush into the bathroom. You shut the door behind you knowing you already took a shower this morning; but there’s no getting out of this now. Might as well let some cool water fall on -your now- burning skin. _Or maybe that was your desire?_

Either way you need to kill some time. You undress and turn the water on as you try to bring your thoughts back to normal.

 

 

\--

 

You shut the water off after your surprisingly long shower and step out to the sound of strumming. You quickly wrap the towel around your dripping wet body and open the door ever so slightly so there is only a small gap to look through. Carmilla is cross legged on your bed with her back facing you and your guitar in hand. You’ve never heard the song she’s playing before so it must be an original.

Your heart jumps a little at the sound of her voice once she starts the first verse. You swear it was like singing was made for her.

 _I know_  
_Days will come and go_  
_Maybe I'll grow old_  
_But I will die_

 _For now_  
_Is it worth it to be sad_  
_If it's harder to be glad_  
_To be alive_

 _But the trouble I have caused_  
_I wonder_  
_Where do I belong_  
_Is it here?_

She sounds so fragile in this moment. You’ve never seen this side of her before.

 _Believe in dreams_  
_You love so much_  
_Let the passion of your heart_  
_Make them real_

 _And tell_  
_All the ones you love_  
_Anything and everything you feel_

 _Laugh about the past_  
_And secretly_  
_Wish we could go back_  
_And save the child_

You think about what must have happened to her to make her so closed off to everyone. Deep down you wish she would tell you, trust you with her past.

 

 _As I look around this room_  
_Seeing worried eyes that know_  
_It's time we cannot buy_  
_Was this worth the time to write?_  
_Was this worth the time to write?_

 _Believe in dreams_  
_I believe in dreams_  
_I believe in dreams_  
_I believe in you_

 

You open the door wider and walk out towards the bed as she finishes the song.

“That was beautiful.. I loved it” You tug on the towel and remember- that’s all you’re wearing right now. Carmilla jumps as if an alarm just woke her up, and turns to look at you.

“Holy shit Cupcake! Don’t scare me like that. You almost gave me a heart attack” She’s holding her hand to her chest and seems to notice your lack of clothes. “If you wanted to give me a standing ovation, I could have waited till you at least got dressed” She smirks at you. “Although I’m not complaining”

 _How do you do that?_ You’re baffled at the fact that she can be so gentle and open one second, then completely closed off and sarcastic the next. “Do what cutie?” _Shit._ You must have said that out loud.

“What happened to you?” You pause as you try and gather the right words. “How do you go from being so open to completely closed of in a matter of seconds.” You don’t mean to come off strong. It’s really none of your business- But you cant help wanting to know this girl.

“It’s a long story. One I’d particularly like to forget” She sighs and shifts uncomfortably. “You’re totally right! It’s none of my business anyways. I’m sorry.” You respond rather quickly at the heavy mood change. “It’s just, I don’t really know much about you. In fact.. All I really know is that you clearly like leather, You were practically made to be a singer, and you’re a hopeless flirt.. I guess I just want to know more. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too.” You stand playing with the towel around you and stare at the floor trying to hide the desperation in your voice.

“Laura. It’s fine. Really. Please don’t apologize. My past is something I’ve never told anyone” She stands up to walk towards you and raises your chin with her hand. “But, Maybe… One day.. you’ll be that somebody” She smiles and you reflect her actions. There’s something about her that you cant quite put your finger on, But hopefully one day she’ll allow you to piece it together.

“Now are you gonna go get dressed or stand here and freeze?” You laugh nervously not having realized you’ve been shivering. “Yeah, Give me a minute” You make your way back to the bathroom and shut the door to change.

 

\--

 

**8pm**

 

 

“So what are you wearing to the party?” You ask Carmilla like you don’t already know. “Clothes.” She responds and you scoff. “ _You’re sooo funny._ But seriously, do you have a costume?”

“Do I strike you as one to wear costumes? Cause if so I really gotta step up my game here” You smile and shake your head while grabbing your costume out of the wardrobe and making your way to the bathroom to put it on. “Yeah yeah, Broody pants. I kind of figured anyways-- Oof” You’re interrupted by a blow to the back from a pillow.

“My pants are not broody.” You reach down to grab your yellow pillow and throw it back so it hits her square in the face. “Heeey! Rude.” You both laugh as you reach the bathroom to get ready.

Carmilla has a soft side. You’re certain that you’re the only one who sees it though. She’s like 50 things put into one and every time you’re with her, you seem to find out something new. You care about her, in a way you’ve never cared about anyone before. It’s been a month now and everything about her makes you crave her. Maybe tonight will change all that? Maybe you can just tell her how you feel-- No, you have too.

_Fuck being Friends._

 

\--

 

**8:20pm**

 

“Uhm cupcake didn’t you say we needed to meet the ginger twins at 8:30?” Carmilla shouts to you from the other side of the bathroom door. You can’t help the sweat building up on your palms. You bought this outfit to impress and you only hope that’s what it does.

You reach for the handle and enter the bedroom in your very short dress. Carmilla is looking at your book collection. “Yeah, Sorry. I’m ready.” Your heart is beating a mile a minute.

“Uhm, Okay. Sooo, that’s officially the best surprise I've ever gotten” She pauses to fully inspect your outfit and you cant help but blush. “Jesus Christ Laura. I’d sit on your lap any day.” You bite your lip and rub your palm down your dress before saying “That can be arranged.”

Your comment seems to take Carmilla back a bit because you notice her eyes light up and the slow smirk that’s forming. You promise yourself that this time you wont run away. _This is it. Just kiss her, You can do this._

You take one step towards her before Lafontaine comes barging into your room. “Are you fucking kidding me” You say those words under your breath so neither of them over hear it.

They look at the both of you. “Shit, I did it again. Im sorry kiddos. But there will be plenty of time later, Right now we need both of you over at the summers helping set up!” They give you an apologetic look as Carmilla is gathering both of your things and putting her shoes on.

“Lafontaine, Have I ever told you how much I just _adore_ you.” You give them a smile which they understand is filled with rage. Carmilla Laughs and makes her way towards the door while you follow close behind.

They’re right though. There’s still _plenty_ of time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I was originally going to post this chapter in one piece until I realized how much is going to happen in this one night. So stay tuned, I'm about to take you on an emotional roller coaster. :D


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